Post # 1
In thinking about a potential guest list, Mr. Bunny and I keep coming back to the issue of inviting relatives that are close genetically, but not emotionally. I have 10 first cousins that are all around the same age. My mom had 3 older brothers, and is about 10 years younger than the youngest of them, so I am definitely not a part of the Cousin Rat Pack. I don’t really know them, they don’t really know me, and the last time I think I even saw any of them was 2 Thanksgivings ago. Weddings tend to be the times when the whole family gets together, but honestly, I don’t want to invite 20 people (all the cousins are married) that I hardly know, even if they are family. I only want 30-50 people total, and Mr. Bunny would be happy with <20! We have close friends that we see and talk to all the time, and would much prefer to have them at our wedding.
Another reason that is far more shameful is the issue of what THEIR weddings were like. I attended 5 of them, and the one that cost the least was around 50k (heard this through family gossip, but I believe it). Mr. Bunny and I are both gamers and environmentalists, and I want a small, ‘eco-geek but still chic’ (I thought of that myself!) wedding, not some lavish event. Also, my mom is only paying for my dress, and his parents aren’t contributing anything, so we will be paying for everything. Aaaand, we’re both graduate students, so we won’t be paying a lot. What do I do?
Post # 3
With that small of a guest list I think it would be no problem to tell your family “It’s a small wedding” and invite who you want. We had a 30 person wedding and I wanted my close friends to be there, so we also had to decide which was more important to us. I picked friends and sent my family an announcement.
Post # 4
Usually I would say you invite people based on how close you are to them, not just because they are family, but if they also invited you to their weddings then its bit not to invite them.
Post # 5
I think they will understand if you are having a small wedding. If you were having a huge wedding with 200 people and they didn’t make the cut that would probably not be OK. But I think if you spread the word that you are keeping it intimate for closest family and friends I don’t think they’ll be offended.
Post # 6
@bells: does it matter that I was 12 when the last one got married? I’m 24 now.
Oooh, I guess I should also say that most have kids, which we would NOT be inviting. Don’t know if that changes anything. Maybe they wouldn’t come anyway, even if we did invite? If I had unlimited funds, this would be a no-brainer, of course I’d invite my cousins. But we just wanna keep it intimate and small 🙁
Post # 7
Family forst as long as you have the best friends my opinion because no matter what family will be family never change.