(Closed) friend's plant killed on our watch – should we replace?

posted 4 years ago in Home
  • poll: should we pay to replace it?
    No, it wasn't your fault : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Yes, you should have taken better care : (11 votes)
    17 %
    Yes, even though it's not your fault : (41 votes)
    65 %
    Only if they are mad : (9 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 2
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m not a plant person so I don’t know how much this thing costs, but I would throw them a couple of dollars if they were going to get a new one. I honestly would have left it there too!

    Post # 4
    1209 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I would just offer and they may not even take you up on it. If they do want you to buy a few one they’re not that expensive. I bought an absolutely beautiful hydrangea at Trader Joe’s for something like $12. 

    Post # 5
    621 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    If it’s not a huge expense for you then I think you should offer to replace it since it happened while you were responsible for it.

    Post # 6
    3039 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    SarahCF: If it makes you feel any better, I find hydrangeas hopeless – they die for pretty much anything regardless of how hard I try to keep them alive. It’s unfortunate, because they are so pretty, but I’ve more or less given up on buying them. 

    Now, in terms of replacing it – they tend to be quite cheap if you get them during the right time of year (spring). At this point in time though… I would call a local flower shop to see if they are even available. If not, perhaps just give them a bottle of wine and say you’re sorry?


    Post # 7
    2883 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    SarahCF: yikes! So sad. I have a brown thumb so I don’t take anyone’s plants. Hope your friends understand. 

    Post # 8
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    When I flew out for my wedding, my neighbor killed all of my plants. All of them. I was so heartbroken when I came back — I am no plant expert by any definition… I water the plants every two days and that was it. Nothing special. 99% of them were planted and the other 1% were in designated pots, well drained so it’s impossible to over water them.<br /><br />Definitely offer to replace the plant — They might not take you up on it, but it’s the kind thing to do. It’s not necessarily a “Whose fault is it” kind of thing, the fact of the matter is the plant is pretty much dead. It shouldn’t be hard or expensive to replace, but your friends will likely be understanding, but if they had any particular attachment to it they might be sad, hence offering to replace it.<br /><br />My neighbor bought me a little money bamboo tree to make up for the like, 75 dead plants. It’s lovely, and it was a very thoughtful gesture.

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    Post # 9
    9797 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I might offer in your place, but I would absolutely  refuse to accept in theirs. It is the chance they took when they moved the plant. 

    Post # 10
    998 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldn’t write the plant off as being a total loss yet. I have several of them and I have been convinced many times they were dead when they weren’t. My husband is like a plantwhisperer and   tries to calm me down, and in the end he’s always right! Just keep it shaded for now and water, water, water. There’s a good chance it’ll come back. 

    Also, when you are watering do not spray water on the leaves. Basically just water the soil so you don’t burn the leaves. 

    Post # 11
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I would return it to them, but insist to buy them a new one. Bring cash/cheque book with you, or be prepared to do an e-transfer. I bet that they would know better where to replace it.

    Post # 12
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

    I’d replace it because even though it wasn’t my fault, it died on my watch. They may not take you up on it, but the offer would be nice, and I’m sure appreciated. 

    Post # 13
    3130 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    SarahCF:  I would for sure just but them a new plant and be like im so sorry, we left the plant where you left it and the sun fried it all in one day. heres a new one~. They likely wouldn’t be mad either way but I think it would be a very nice gesture to offer a new one – especially snce they are kind of into their plants.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  Boxerlover24.
    Post # 14
    559 posts
    Busy bee

    SarahCF:  I would either get the exact same plant (and put in the same pot they gave it you in if that was a decent one) or get them a voucher for a garden centre – perhaps even to a slightly higher value than the cost of the plant, which you could find out by describing to an assistant at the centre how tall the plant was, as I assume the price varies with the height of the plant. Do not wait for them to say: it’s okay. It is not okay even if they say it is. They will always remember this. Rather be part of a good memory even if it wasn’t your fault. Put a card with the gift to explain things, don’t explain too much at their door and get tongue-tied and awkward.

    If, like another bee said, it might still be alive, then try nursing it back. Get the biggest bucket you can find and submerge the plant fully if you can, but at least the soil part and leave it there 24 hours. Then remove it, drain it off a bit and treat it normally. See if it’s okay. Your plan B could be that you’re just treating it for the unfortunate sunstroke it received and will return it asap. When it starts to look okay return it, or give them a replacement or voucher if it’s not. They will politely decline as that is good form but ignore that, they will appreciate your manners for replacing it if necessary.

    Post # 15
    629 posts
    Busy bee

    SarahCF:  They cared enough about this plant to drop it off at your house. It’s not like you killed their puppy, but it is obviously still important to them. The cost of a plant is not worth the cost of a friendship, so I’d definitely buy a new one. I don’t want to say it’s your fault, but I do think you should have asked where the best place to put it was…maybe it’s an “indoor” plant. I know nothing about plants.

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