Post # 16
Ugh! That is really rude! But if she’s a good friend and mostly supportive, I’d do my best try to move past it. I had a similar incident way back when. I guess I have a non-traditional ring in that the setting is a little taller and there are pear shaped, light yellow fancy diamond sidestones on mine. When I was showing it off to one friend, she examined it closely and and the first thing she said was, “are you sure those are yellow?…and not just discolored?”
Post # 17
Yikes! That’d be a hard comment to swallow.
I am just going to move past it. I’m seeing her again tomorrow and will be fully supportive, etc and not mention anything engagement related. I know she’s got a lot of stuff going on in her life right now work wise so maybe it was just a bad/stressful day and she probably isn’t really a “ring person”.
Mostly I just didn’t like how I felt really self-conscious and uncomfortable the rest of the night.
Post # 18
I think some times people say stuff like that because they are jealous. I would just ignore it and put her on my B list for invites =)
Everyone has opinions and those who are jealous seem to have more of it!
Post # 19
That really sucks :(. I really wonder if people realize how much it hurts when they say stuff like that. When I text one of my friends to say I was engaged she thanked me for waiting until she got engaged before I got engaged (she got engaged a month before me). No congrats just thanks for waiting for me to go first! I was livid needless to say her engagement didn’t work out. Try not to let these people get to you. Unfortunately you will probably have people say lots of not very nice things most of which are probably have to do with jealousy.
Post # 20
That isn’t a nice reaction, at all. As others have said, *edit* she should have slapped on a smile no matter what in this situation.
People’s reactions to rings can be so weird though – my good friend (and BM) was very excited for me when I got engaged and loved talking about it one on one with me (she always brought it up), but when we were in a big group one night and people were asking me about it and complimenting me on the ring, she threw out a “He got it on sale” comment because the upscale jewelry store where he purchased the ring was closing.
I’m sure he did (and more power to him!), but he initially went to that jewelry store because it’s where my parents bought my necklace for my First Communion and I always said I wanted my engagement ring from there too. I couldn’t believe she said that, it was so awkward! She’s a nice person generally, but she loves to be the center of attention – and I’m the first of my friends to get engaged, so I think she was just being moody. I should have said something snarky back, but just moved on instead. After all, I was – and you are – engaged 🙂
Post # 21
What a weird reaction! The first thing I thought was maybe she’s one of the girls on here complaining about everyone around her getting engaged, lol. Don’t let it get to you.
Post # 22
Thanks everyone! I know I just need to let this “roll off my back.” I was just caught SO off guard.
I’m still blissfully happy that I am engaged AND that I found these boards to help get me through what I’m sure will be a stressful, emotional, and fun & exciting wedding planning process.
Post # 23
@KatNYC2011: I would most likely say that she is jealous in some way. I had a friend react in a very, very similar way, and shes reacted in a similar way other times in my life when something is going just great for me, or if (back when he was just the BF) he did something extremely sweet for me.
Post # 24
I agree about jealousy, when I went home for easter shortly after getting engaged (my entire extended family was there) NO ONE asked to see my ring or said congrats! I realized later on the reason was b/c my 3 female cousins of similar age to me who are all hopelessly single were jealous and distracting everyone on purpose. That is actually why I finally joined WB so I guess I can thank them for that! 🙂
Post # 25
I’m so glad I found this place too. I can post/talk about wedding stuff and have other people ooh and ahh about it without stepping on any toes.
Post # 26
First she says she can’t wait to hear all about it and then when you approach her she basically shuts you down? What a bitch move.
Post # 27
Maybe she was offended that you showed her your ring? I don’t know the deets, but if it’s huge, it may have made her feel awkward. She still should have said something nice, but maybe that’s why she reacted the way she did. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I’ll bet she doesn’t even remember that point in the conversation.
Post # 28
punch her with the hand that the ring is on! she won’t be able to dismiss it then.
Post # 29
That’s what really got me. I never would have offered up to show her in the first place if she hadn’t seemed so interested.
Post # 30
I’m so sorry. I know how a response like that can really crush you for a moment. Especially when you’re so excited. I have a similar, pretty awful story. My Maid/Matron of Honor (who I love dearly) was in a weird place emotionally when I got engaged. Fiance insisted we go over to show her the ring…but I had uneasy feelings about it. I should have trusted my instincts. She basically said “OOh, that’s nice” and wore a purposely disingenuous smile. Then she changed the subject to something else until we awkwardly left. The next day we were chatting on IM and she starts talking about how diamonds are torn up from the earth and how she’d never wear them. She even pasted in parts of another IM conversation in which she and another friend discussed this. THEN she told me a story about how her brother (once Fiance and I left the night before) hugged her and told her he loved her because she would never wear a diamond engagement ring. She lives with her brother btw. When I told her this hurt my feelings she said, “I left out a lot of our conversation that would have hurt your feelings more.”
All that’s important is that you love your ring and are happy with your situation.