(Closed) Friend’s response to my ring..

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

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@Leatherbean:  uh…why is this girl your MOH?  she hardly sounds supportive.

Post # 32
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

She’s changed the attitude a lot. It was the worst thing she’s done in our 13 years of friendship.

Post # 33
Member
33 posts
Newbee

Please give her a second chance.  I can’t remember for sure, but this sounds like something I would have done before I got engaged and learned something about these things.  I’m sitting here trying to remember which of my friends I may have insulted over the years, so here’s the perspective from another “I”m not a ring person” person.  In saying “I”m not a ring person” she may have been trying to basically apologize for her utter lack of anything intelligent to say regarding the ring as she’s thinking oh crap this is really important to this person and I’m supposed to go gaga over it and make some kind of comment on the cut or type of stone or something and I have no idea what I’m looking at, it looks the same as every other ring I’ve ever seen and I’m going to sound like I don’t care no no matter what I say because I don’t have a clue so at least say it looks nice.  

She definitely could have been more enthused about the engagement though. I suggest going to lunch or for a drink when you’re not in a big group.  I bet you get a different response (at least about the engagement, if not the ring).  

Congrats!

Post # 35
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Ya, thats rude. Shes most likely jealous, so dont even let it effect you. I had someone ASK about the engagement story and then INTERUPT after the first sentence to tell me HER story, which I obviously already knew because she’s been married for almost a year. I think some people just dont know how to be happy for others. Congrats to you!

Post # 36
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Sounds like kind of a weird response, but I don’t know… it doesn’t sound like she was *trying* to insult you.  Sometimes people just blurt out weird stuff.  Try and shrug it off – I’m sure a ton of people have been ecstatic about your ring, right?  Enjoy it!

Post # 37
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

i have to comment here – fleur99 pretty much took the words out of my mouth.  i am a bit older and i would venture a guess that most of the girls on here are younger (that whole:”she SHOULD have said” is very big with younger girls.  not so much when you’re older.  you realize people don’t always handle things so well and you can’t always get angry at them for it).  well guess what?  it’s not always about you.  i actually lost a friendship with someone over the year and a half that she was engaged.  why?  NOT because i was jealous (it’s not always about jealousy people) but because i got SO sick and tired of constantly hearing every little detail about her stupid wedding EVERY single time i saw her (it was the first thing out of her mouth and it was the ONLY thing she EVER wanted to talk about for a year and a half.  EVER).  i tried.  i TRIED so hard to be “supportive” of her (i’d let her talk about it for a while then i’d try to change the subject, nope, didn’t work.  her wedding was the ONLY event going on on the entire PLANET), but in the end it became perfectly clear that she was completly wrapped up in HERSELF and had lost perspective on EVERYTHING else in her life.  yes, you JUST got engaged, i get that, but mabye YOUR friend was thinking to herself “oh boy, here we go!”, you know?  maybe she didn’t LIKE your ring and just didn’t know how to REACT to it. it’s possible.  has that honestly NEVER happened to you?  give her a break.  she’s your friend for a REASON i assume. 

Post # 38
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry ms. anne, but I have to disagree.

I get what you’re saying, some girls DO act like that, but to compare your situation to the OP’s is not really the same thing here.  This was the first time seeing her friend after her engagement, so I would hope that a true friend would be a little supportive of her and be genuinely happy for her.  “oh boy here we go”?… that doesn’t sound like a true friend who’s seeing her friend for the first time after she just got engaged.

It’s possible she didn’t know how to react, but I don’t think it’s really hard to show some enthusiasm for the first time over her engagement. 

Post # 40
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

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@ms. anne thrope: I totally disagree with you. And I don’t know why you are on this site if that type of behavior bothers you, haha! I agree that you made this situation about you, when it has nothing to do with you at all and isn’t the same thing you went through. This is one of her best friends and seeing her for the first time after getting engaged. Even if you HATE weddings and HATE rings, it’s just common courtesy to congratulate someone and at least say the ring is ‘beautiful’. Just like you would congratulate someone if they got a new job or bought a house. And this friend had actually said she wanted to hear all about it, so of course the OP has a right to feel confused and taken aback.

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