(Closed) Friends S.O takes Adderall, and she's not sure how to feel?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should she do about S.O taking Adderall?
    If it helps him, and helps him to produce good work and he's happy, than I'd accept it. : (55 votes)
    86 %
    No. He needs to stop, or else she'll break up with him. : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Depends on the strength of the relationship, and if there are any other problems. : (5 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    Soon2bmrs1:  Right?? It’s this stigma of mental health care that is so wrong with this world. If he had surgery and got prescribed pain medication, which also is known for people getting addicted to easily, would she leave him for taking it to manage his recovery? Even if he was only taking it as needed to get through the day??!! NO!! Because it is a physical problem and not mental. This whole question just breaks my heart. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    1210 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    yourhandinmine:  I think your friend and her SO need to talk about her concerns. You definitely can become addicted to Adderall or similar drugs and it can cause a lot of problems for the addict and their family/friends.

    If he has a legitimate medical condition like ADHD and is under the care of a licensed physician (preferably one who specializes in disorders like adult ADHD), that is one story. If he is taking it as he pleases and obtaining it from friends, I could see why your friend has a concern. 

    Addiction encompasses more than developing a tolerance; everyone develops a tolerance after repeated exposure to a medication. Think about what happens with drinking alcohol. However, people who have addictions put their relationships, employment, and finances on the line to procure and use the drug. If your friend thinks her SO has a problem, I would encourage her to have him seek help.

    Post # 48
    Member
    5088 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    View original reply
    yourhandinmine:  I also don’t see the big deal. My husband also takes adderall, after trying a few other ADHD meds, and it works great for him. He’s much happier and more productive at work. 

    As long as the SO in question is taking it under a doctor’s supervision and as prescribed, I don’t know why there would be a problem. It sounds like he is very conscious of the risks of the drug as well which is good. 

    As for the multiple doctor’s opinions… If he thought he had an infection and he went to a doctor who agreed and got antibiotics that made him feel better, but two other doctors didn’t think he had an infection, then who cares? One doctor gave him what he needed to feel better, go with it. I guess I don’t see why the other doctor’s opinions matter when he feels he has ADHD and a doctor agreed and the treatment is working for him. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    7897 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Interesting. Different doctors approach these issues differently. As PP said, some doctors will prescribe meds for anything; others are more judicious. I don’t know if I’d break up with him, but I’d certainly keep my eye out for any worrisome behavior. The whole adderall issue is becoming more and more common. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/us/workers-seeking-productivity-in-a-pill-are-abusing-adhd-drugs.html

    Post # 50
    Member
    5875 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    He’s taking a drug on perscription from a doctor.  It’s completely legal and he’s experiencing the positive effects of hte drug and no negative side effects (so far).

    I don’t see why she’d feel so conflicted about this?  Maybe she’s worried about addiction?  If that’s the case, I’d say he should work closely with the doctor to ensure he’s not developing a dependency, not increasing dosage, and ultimately looking for non-drug related long term solutions.

    One of the solutions may be making a plan to eventually remove him from such a high stress work environment.  From the way you’ve described it he might be in the financial industry?  I don’t think it’s good for your mental health or relationships to stay in something like that for a long time (I’m thinking investment banking, Wall Street stock broker, etc), but that’s just me.  

    Post # 51
    Member
    97 posts
    Worker bee

    If it’s a tiny dose and it’s prescription, I don’t see the problem. I’m on antidepressants half the year because of some pretty severe Seasonal Affective Disorder, and have to use a sun lamp and still get depressed when the sun sets at 7pm here. If my boyfriend dumped me because I have to take antidepressants for it, then that would be his loss because it’s my problem and I’m trying to deal with it in the way I see fit (and he is completely accepting and supporting of it, saying I’m very rational and self-sufficient even when I am feeling blue).

    Yes, he may become dependant on it due to his work, but that is a different problem all together. If he’s getting a prescription, it’s a tiny dose, and he’s being totally consistent with it; again, I do NOT see the problem?

    Post # 53
    Member
    3111 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

    I can’t imagine leaving someone for taking prescription medication for their illness, that’s insane. It’s fine to have concerns about dependance and that is something they should be able to be open about but unless he’s abusing it now, I don’t see the issue.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1455 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have ADD and take vyvanse about 3ish times per week (on a per-need basis). For me it’s about equally as addictive as caffeine, and peeps don’t get all huffy about someone drinking 2 cups of coffee per day. It is extremely, extremely helpful for me though. Like night and day. MangoBreezy said it best, she’s not him and she’s not in his mind, so she should just be supportive of his medical needs and not interfere.

    Post # 55
    Member
    2121 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

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    yourhandinmine:  No, he isn’t “technically abusing a drug”. He is taking a medication that was prescribed for him and it appears to be working for him. That’s great. The issue is not the medication.

    The issue is the diagnosis. One doctor says he has ADHD, two doctors say he doesn’t. What doctors did he see? GPs are not able to formally diagnose ADHD, so it sounds to me like he doesn’t have a formal diagnosis. The doctor who “diagnosed” the ADHD should have referred him to a pyschiatrist or another specialist for assessment. It’s also not something you can diagnose in one doctor’s visit.

    Post # 56
    Member
    10648 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think telling someone to either stop taking a medication they have been prescribed otherwise they will break up with them is horribly controlling.  The relationship may have a big issue if that’s what she wants to do and may be worth ending it because of that nature.

    Post # 57
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I would want him to work with his specialist until things were stable, but I would have absolutely zero problems with him working with a medical professional to take care of his needs.

     

    I also think it’s kind of horrible to take an issue like this to a “friend.” This should be between the boyfriend and his Medical provider.

    Post # 59
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    View original reply
    yourhandinmine:  it sounds like it! Tell her I would have more issue with my partner saying she thought I was abusing drugs (with identifying information attached to the statement) than I would with my partner taking a prescribed medication as directed. 

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