- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
If he has a legitimate medical condition like ADHD and is under the care of a licensed physician (preferably one who specializes in disorders like adult ADHD), that is one story. If he is taking it as he pleases and obtaining it from friends, I could see why your friend has a concern.
Addiction encompasses more than developing a tolerance; everyone develops a tolerance after repeated exposure to a medication. Think about what happens with drinking alcohol. However, people who have addictions put their relationships, employment, and finances on the line to procure and use the drug. If your friend thinks her SO has a problem, I would encourage her to have him seek help.
As long as the SO in question is taking it under a doctor’s supervision and as prescribed, I don’t know why there would be a problem. It sounds like he is very conscious of the risks of the drug as well which is good.
As for the multiple doctor’s opinions… If he thought he had an infection and he went to a doctor who agreed and got antibiotics that made him feel better, but two other doctors didn’t think he had an infection, then who cares? One doctor gave him what he needed to feel better, go with it. I guess I don’t see why the other doctor’s opinions matter when he feels he has ADHD and a doctor agreed and the treatment is working for him.
Interesting. Different doctors approach these issues differently. As PP said, some doctors will prescribe meds for anything; others are more judicious. I don’t know if I’d break up with him, but I’d certainly keep my eye out for any worrisome behavior. The whole adderall issue is becoming more and more common. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/us/workers-seeking-productivity-in-a-pill-are-abusing-adhd-drugs.html
He’s taking a drug on perscription from a doctor. It’s completely legal and he’s experiencing the positive effects of hte drug and no negative side effects (so far).
I don’t see why she’d feel so conflicted about this? Maybe she’s worried about addiction? If that’s the case, I’d say he should work closely with the doctor to ensure he’s not developing a dependency, not increasing dosage, and ultimately looking for non-drug related long term solutions.
One of the solutions may be making a plan to eventually remove him from such a high stress work environment. From the way you’ve described it he might be in the financial industry? I don’t think it’s good for your mental health or relationships to stay in something like that for a long time (I’m thinking investment banking, Wall Street stock broker, etc), but that’s just me.
If it’s a tiny dose and it’s prescription, I don’t see the problem. I’m on antidepressants half the year because of some pretty severe Seasonal Affective Disorder, and have to use a sun lamp and still get depressed when the sun sets at 7pm here. If my boyfriend dumped me because I have to take antidepressants for it, then that would be his loss because it’s my problem and I’m trying to deal with it in the way I see fit (and he is completely accepting and supporting of it, saying I’m very rational and self-sufficient even when I am feeling blue).
Yes, he may become dependant on it due to his work, but that is a different problem all together. If he’s getting a prescription, it’s a tiny dose, and he’s being totally consistent with it; again, I do NOT see the problem?
Thank you all SO much for the answers! As I said at one point during the thread, I am on her S.O’s side (not that I’m taking sides, just that I see it the way all of you have). The only reason I have commented some of the things I did (other than playing devils advocate, was also because those were arguments that she gave me).
I agree-if one doctor says he has it, and he thinks it helps, than I think it’s the right choice. If she’s worried about addiction, he can discuss that with his doctor if it’s a true worry. But otherwise, like you all have stated, I do not think she should be unhappy about her S.O taking his mental health in a mature and logical approach.
I will be showing her this thread, so she can see the OVERWHELMING amount of replies that support ONE answer. In the end, if she chooses to end it with him, than that’s on her and I cannot change that. But this should show her that it’s OKAY to be worried about the drug (because people can become addicted) but he’s handling it in such a way that her worries should be small and not as big as she claims they are.
Thank you again everyone-yet again, the Bee’s always give great advice!
I can’t imagine leaving someone for taking prescription medication for their illness, that’s insane. It’s fine to have concerns about dependance and that is something they should be able to be open about but unless he’s abusing it now, I don’t see the issue.
I have ADD and take vyvanse about 3ish times per week (on a per-need basis). For me it’s about equally as addictive as caffeine, and peeps don’t get all huffy about someone drinking 2 cups of coffee per day. It is extremely, extremely helpful for me though. Like night and day. MangoBreezy said it best, she’s not him and she’s not in his mind, so she should just be supportive of his medical needs and not interfere.
The issue is the diagnosis. One doctor says he has ADHD, two doctors say he doesn’t. What doctors did he see? GPs are not able to formally diagnose ADHD, so it sounds to me like he doesn’t have a formal diagnosis. The doctor who “diagnosed” the ADHD should have referred him to a pyschiatrist or another specialist for assessment. It’s also not something you can diagnose in one doctor’s visit.
I think telling someone to either stop taking a medication they have been prescribed otherwise they will break up with them is horribly controlling. The relationship may have a big issue if that’s what she wants to do and may be worth ending it because of that nature.
I would want him to work with his specialist until things were stable, but I would have absolutely zero problems with him working with a medical professional to take care of his needs.
I also think it’s kind of horrible to take an issue like this to a “friend.” This should be between the boyfriend and his Medical provider.
The topic ‘Friends S.O takes Adderall, and she's not sure how to feel?’ is closed to new replies.