(Closed) Friends saying they won't be attending

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m so sorry this is happening to you! It’s really discouraging when people close to you can’t come. There were a lot of close friends and family who didn’t come to our wedding and while I was a little hurt I tried to remember that they had other things going on. Other people spent a lot of time and a lot of money to come, so I tried to focus on them and how happy I was to have them there to celebrate with us. Day of I definitely wasn’t missing anyone, I had so much going on!

Post # 4
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Aw, I’m sorry, that stinks! But look at it this way – you’ll have even more time to spend with your friends and family who do come. 

Post # 5
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Although it sucks, enjoy it with the people that will be there.  I had 60 no shows to my wedding and I still had a blast.  I was shaking what my momma gave me on the dance floor.  Now, the next day I was pissed but that night I had to celebrate with the people that came to celebrate with me.

Post # 7
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Smaller intimate weddings are nice imho.I am sure that your day will be magical.

Post # 9
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Have you already booked your venue?  Is there a way you can “split” the space, so you don’t look as empty.


I would start now and try to get a realistic count, since you think you will have significantly less than what you thought.  That will give you the opportunity to work with the vendor to maximize space – for example 6 at a table instead of 8 etc.

Post # 10
13249 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh no!  At least they’re giving you some advance notice though, right?  It sucks, but they’re being up front with you.  Plus plans change, so maybe they’ll be able to make it after all.

Post # 11
4948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a ton of friends and family not come to my first wedding. It hurt my heart, but made me appreciate the people who did come even more!

Post # 12
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really wouldn’t worry too much about the venue looking “empty.”  Most venues have been through dozens and dozens of weddings, and just like they know how to maximize space to fit in as many people as possible, they also know how to minimize space to help encourage people to spread out a bit.  Our venue technically had a capacity between 150-300 depending on the weather and type of service (seated meal vs cocktail reception) and our 80-person guest list looked great in that space.  The venue left bigger spaces between dining tables so everyone had plenty of room and no one felt like they were having dinner in a cavern, and they adjusted the floor plan so that there were defined areas for different purposes— dance floor, a gathering area near the bar so people could stand or sit and mingle, and so forth.

Let the professionals do what they’re being paid to do— make your event fantastic.

Post # 13
986 posts
Busy bee

Just enjoy those who come! I’m sure that those who are missing out wish they weren’t, so just as badly as you want them there, they probably are sad they aren’t able to attend. Your wedding and venue will be gorgeous regardless of your guest count! 

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