Post # 1
OK so some of my best friends think that I should not have found out the purchase of the E ring and that I should have stayed out of it completely… they think it’s not ‘traditional’ to to go ring shopping together and keep telling me how he should not have involved me in the ring purchase and all that..
I can see where they’re coming from but I also think it’s sweet that we talked through our future plans together and mutually agreed that it’d be a good time to move things forward. As for me being there when he purchased the ring, I personally don’t think it makes that much of a big deal. We both knew what kind of ring I wanted, I know how much it was gonna cost. What’s the big deal? It was actually exciting to go through the whole process together right up until the moment he signed the cheque!
Of course it won’t be that much of a surprise when he does pop the question as I am expecting it to come in September. My ring won’t be ready till the first week of September anyway.
How do I get my true feeling across to my friends that I really truly don’t care?!?! arrgh its kinda frustrating cuz I’m happy with the way things are going and they make me second my thoughts… ‘Oh maybe they are right. Maybe I shouldn’t have been there..’ Too late anyway.
None of my best friends are married or engaged and maybe that’s the kind of proposal they want- the biggest surprise ever. I just wish they’d be happy for me full stop without feeling the need to accuse me for having been “too involved in the process”.
Post # 3
just tell them that that’s what works for you two, and leave it. Repeat ad nauseum.
congrats on the ring!
Post # 4
My Fiance proposed with a dime taped to a keyring, so he could surprise me and I’d still get to choose my own ring 😛
I agree that it’s great to talk about marriage and the future together. I don’t think you have to justify it to anyone, as long as you’re both happy. If they make any comments just tell them it was your choice and you’re good with it.
Post # 5
There are actually quite a few brides on here who go e-ring shopping with their boyfriend.
I went shopping with my now husband. We went ‘pretend’ shopping so he could find out what types of rings I like. It was more a fact finding mission. In the end, he went on his own and bought it. He picked out a perfect ring for me and I didn’t think it was weird that we did.
Tell your friends it’s not as uncommon as they think.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - ceremony in our family's Catholic church in Watsonville; reception at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk
My Fiance told me to go ring shopping and I picked it out myself. Then Mr. Hot Tea and I went together to see it. And I was still surprised when he proposed 🙂 Here’s a link to our ring story and then a few posts later is our proposal… http://www.weddingbee.com/2011/07/25/engagement-ring-shopping/
Post # 7
I picked out my own e ring. I would just tell your friends that a lot of women pick out their own rings. If they keep bugging you about it just stare at them and then change the subject
Post # 8
My Fiance and I designed my e-ring together and since he was working 2 jobs and about 70+ hours a week at the time I did most of the work with the jeweler. I knew the cost and I picked my diamond out. He still surprised me with the proposal after the ring was finished.
It’s different for every couple so don’t let them dictate what is right or wrong for you. Getting engaged/married is a big decision so it’s great that you discussed it and are on the same page and both ready to move forward. You’re getting engaged and going to marry the man you love – that’s what really matters!
Post # 9
I went ring shopping w/ my Boyfriend or Best Friend and no one gave us any grief about it. Would I have preferred the ring to be a surprise? I don’t really know. I’m very picky and SO and I knew it’d be best if I picked out the ring myself, so I got exactly what I wanted. If your friends don’t get it now, they probably will when it’s their turn to go ring shopping. Some things that are “traditional” to some couples aren’t traditional at all to others. Heck, it’s your engagement and your wedding, be as involved as you want to be! Haters gon’ hate lol.
I’m in the same boat as you. SO picked up my ring last week, but I don’t think he’s gonna propose until we go on vacation in November. But even though I know what the ring looks like, the proposal will still be a total surprise, as he’s given no clues as to how or when he’s gonna do it. THAT is the big surprise, there! And you have THAT to look forward to! Hope your wait isn’t too too long
Post # 10
They are entitled to their feelings as you are. No one is going to have sudden change of heart and embrace the opposite POV. State your position on it once. If they keep pushing the point, tell them that it ultimately A) its none of their business b) its not up for debate because this is what works for your relationship. They are free to do whatever they want when its time for them to engaged. Then drop subject. No reason to keep explaining yourself.
Actually my FH likes the traditional way to. He thinks it should be soley up the guy and girl should be happy to accept it. In theory i agree, however, its not gonna work that way for me. So we ended up going to Zales or Kays to get a feel of what I wanted, check out bands for him and get him used to ring shopping.
I also kept researching online and fell in love with a e-ring & band from Bario-neal.com. Earlier this week I went to Philly to visit some friends. I decided to check out the flagship store in person with a girl friend. I actually ended up falling for a diffrent ring. So I emailed my choice to my FH with the specs. If any one thinks its not traditional, who cares thats their bag. We are starting our own thing. So screw them.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
My Fiance and I went ring shopping together. I mean, an e-ring is usually a fairly hefty financial investment, and women tend to be particular about their jewelry. We both wanted to make sure that Fiance ended up getting something we both actually liked and that looked good on me. We had a ton of fun shopping together, and I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
Also, going ring shopping doesn’t mean the surprise is ruined. First of all, most of us talk about the potential of getting married before the proposal, so wouldn’t that “ruin” the surprise as well? And secondly, Fiance waited more than two months to propose to me after we went ring shopping and he bought the ring. I was on my toes and never knew when to expect the proposal, and he still managed to surprise me!
Post # 12
I don’t think it’s weird at all, my fiance and I went ring shopping together. The idea was to pick out a few rings that we both liked, and he would go back and buy his top choice. But we found THE ring, and we both knew right away. I’m usually a really indecisive person, and my fiance said that was the quickest decision I’ve ever made. I knew what his budget was going into it, so it wasn’t uncomfortable when it came to price.
I think before we had talked about getting engaged, I might have thought it was weird if I heard a friend went ring shopping with her boyfriend. But now that I’m in that situation I think it’s totally normal. We actually saw quite a few other couples in the jewellery store. I think getting married is a joint decision, and I think sometimes too much pressure is put on the poor guy. He’s supposed to pick out a ring, come up with the “perfect” engagement setting etc. Just my opinion 🙂
Oh, and congrats! Exciting times ahead!
Post # 13
I honestly don’t see a problem with ever shopping for your e-ring. The question/point I always ask is… you’re the one that will be wearing the ring for the duration of the engagement and possibly for the rest of your life (if you just get a wedding band to compliment it or something). Would you leave that choice up to your FH100% or would you want to have a say in the design? I also don’t think it’d take away from the proposal if you know what the ring was like before hand, especially if you’ve talked about it and he’s serious about marrying you in the future.
But to each their own 🙂 I’m dropping obvious hints as to what I want for an e-ring. I also straight up told him to take my mom to go shopping when he’s ready. My mom always got my sister and I quality jewelry (I never really wore less than 18K and this was before it started getting more popular) since we were little so I know roughly when you’re getting charged more than you should be. He just doesn’t understand the differences in gold or gem quality so he could easily be taken advantage of. It happened in the past when he bought me a ring at the mall for an anniversary gift. I love the sentimental value, but I’m almost 100% sure he was ripped off by the sales associate even though I don’t know the exact amount and it makes me feel bad for him.
Post # 14
In the words of my Fiance “I am not going to spend that kind of money on something you don’t love. Not going to happen.”
As you can imagine we went shopping together and actually had a ring custom made to my liking. While I did know that he wanted to marry me and that a ring was in process I didn’t know where/when/how he was going to propose. In the end I got my dream ring and it was still a very touching and surprising moment.
In the end you have to do what is right for you as a couple. If you are both comfortable shopping for a ring than do it, what a great and fun experience to share.
Post # 15
thank you! i totally agree! im going to be the one that’s wearing it for the rest of my life and im glad we shopped for it together. I even put it up as my avatar pic!! lol (took me ages to figure out how)
Actually, it was him that suggested me to try this ring on so technically, it was his first choice!! ^___^
Post # 16
My Fiance and I went to ‘look’ at rings together and he ended up buying the ring I loved on the spot while I was standing beside him… I loved knowing I had the ring of my dreams. Most people said that was sweet of him to do.