Post # 1
so my fiancé lived with 2 of his friends during college in 2008, they are still very good friends, and see each other about 4 times a year (a gay guy and a girl). Well as soon as we got engaged the female roommate called him and told him she expected to be in the bridal party. He told her we hadn’t thought about that yet, then the other roommate called my fiance and told him he also expected to be in the bridal party, and that their friend was very upset that she wasn’t chosen, crying even! Then this weekend my man invited the guy to come visit us to go to a party (he lives 1.5 hrs away) and he passively agressively told my fi that he wasn’t going to come because he wasn’t a groomsman.
Since when do friends get to be entitled over being in the bridal party? I am picking my friends and family as my bridesmaids, not my fiance’s friend I’ve met twice, obvi! And then the guy we had considered having as groomsman, but his attitude is making us not want to do it. What do ya’ll tihnk? We are considering him or one of my fi’s childhood friends, but the other guy might have a harder time comitting, which is why we’d put the old roommate. Has anyone else dealt with this drama? Has anyone expected to be in your bridal party? Mind you, these are 28 yr olds!
Post # 3
I wouldn’t want that drama in my wedding. I would just keep them on the invite list only, then if they don’t show you know how much that friendship really means to them. People sometimes forget that the world does not revolve around them. Sorry you are going through that, sucks for you both.
Post # 4
They probably feel like this is their only chance to stand in someone’s wedding. Ignore them. They will either get over themselves if they want an invite or they were never really his friends to begin with.
Post # 5
Seriously if they’re this much drama now, they’re not going to get better as the wedding approaches. If they have an issue with attending the wedding and not being in the bridal party, then tell them you will miss them.
Post # 6
They’re definitely on the invite list, I don’t know whats the big deal about wanting to be part of the bridal party! In my opinion its just an added expense lol
Post # 7
@Imean: Some people feel (rightly or wrongly) that inclusion or lack of in the bridal party is a reflection of their relationship with the bride or groom, and are very hurt when the person they think of as one of their closest friends doesn’t appear to reciprocate.
Post # 8
@Elvis: Good insight.
@Imean: I can see why the college male friend would want to be one of the groomsmen, even though it’s definitely NOT something he is entitled to. That decision is entirely up to you and your Fiance, and he should be supportive either way. The female friend, however…I don’t really understand why she’d expect to be in your wedding when you don’t even know the girl. Generally speaking, the people who stand with you on your wedding day are supposed to be people who are very near and dear to you…influential men in the groom’s life and influential women in the bride’s life, usually family and best friends. So her reaction is a bit puzzling. Hopefully they are both able to calm down, understand that your Fiance still loves them, and realize that this day isn’t about them. :