Post # 31
I went to one two hours away with a 5 week old and it was fine. But no way would I have left her at that age (my older one stayed at home). I’d decline but say it’s because of baby and they may then offer to bring the baby.
Post # 32
I would go – as long as you have someone you absolutely trust to watch the baby. With my daughter (now 13 months), I left her with my mom & dad when my husband and I went out for date nights starting at about 1 month pp. I exclusively breastfed, but was able to pump 1x a day so I had breastmilk saved up for Darling Husband and my parents to feed the baby once in a while. Also, I would have to pump every 3 hours if I was away from the baby (brought a small manual one to do in the bathroom).
I had a c-section and was physically fine about 2 weeks pp.
But there is no way in the world I would bring a baby that young to a wedding. It would be way too loud and over stimulating, too many new faces and germs.
Post # 33
It’s so hard to say how things will go. I left my son with my mom for two or three hours when I was 3 weeks PP, but we were also supplementing with formula at that point so I just left a bottle of formula and fed him right before I left and right after I got home. But it’s so hard to say – you might feel like crap, either physically or from lack of sleep; if you’re planning on breastfeeding and not comfortable giving formula, you might not be able to pump enough (and if you’re missing a scheduled feeding, you might find yourself getting engorged during the wedding, which is like – ouch!) and you might just not feel ready to leave your baby. It’s a tough call!
If they don’t mind you bringing the baby, I would consider wearing the baby in a wrap or sling – I’ve had friends attend weddings wearing newborns and as long as you’re fairly comfortable feeding them in public, it should work out fine. At that age, most babies are pretty sleepy and portable, especially when they’re snuggled up against mama in a snuggly wrap. Babywearing also cuts down on the chances that someone will ask to hold them or touch them.
Post # 34
to all of you saying you wouldn’t leave baby at that age are you all stay at home moms? I’m asking this because most people only get 6-8 weeks maternity leave so theoretically she will be about to leave baby for hours on end to go to work so I don’t see the difference.
Post # 35
KatesTheWord : I agree with other posters – take the baby with you. Sit in the back for the ceremony in case he/she starts crying and you need to escape. If this is a close friend, also talk to them about the reality that you will literally have just given birth and you just don’t know exactly how you will be feeling. They should understand that. And only go if you are up to it! You wont know how you will feel 4-5w PP until you’re dealing with it.
Post # 36
futuremardinly : 6-8 weeks is still a BIG difference from 4 weeks. 4 week old babies aren’t usually even on a feeding schedule sometimes so you won’t know when they will want to eat, but most have put themselves on one by 8 weeks. And women returning to work at 6-8 week is a huge issue with why breastfeeding doesn’t end up working for many women, because they’re forced to return and pump too soon. So no, I wouldn’t opt to leave a 4 week old for half the day for a WEDDING. Maybe if it was down the street and I went out for 2 hours and returned, maybe then. A wedding isn’t worth it for most new mothers. Pumping isn’t easy and some women cannot do it. Plus, you would have to have pumped ~12-15oz on hand before you even left the house which is difficult to do if you are already breastfeeding around the clock for some women.
And no, I’m not a stay at home mom but I wouldn’t leave a 4 week old for half the day to travel to a wedding. Not worth it. The difference between a 4 week old baby and an 8 week old one is huge. And not all of us want to pump or use formula if we don’t have to. Pumping is a PITA and can be very difficult for some women.
Post # 37
I would go but I probably wouldn’t stay too too long. I had a c-section and was finally feeling like myself about 4 weeks pp. And I might be in the minority but I didn’t have a problem leaving my son for a few hours at 3 weeks pp. You can pump while there. I would think it would be nice to get out of the house and have a bit of fun personally.
Post # 38
I cannot/don’t want to bring baby with me, like I said previously. Bride would probably have a nervous breakdown anyway.
I decided not to go. My husband is going to go and leave after dinner to get home to me and the baby. I think it’s the right decision. I don’t want to have to worry about pumping and introducing a bottle, when I really want to exclusively breast feed (hopefully that works out). Plus I’m sure it would be really difficult to leave my baby that soon for 6+ hours and I just don’t want to have to worry about it. I’ll just have to have Darling Husband take me on a fancy date night so I get a night out too 🙂
futuremardinly : I am not going to be leaving the baby for work.
Post # 39
futuremardinly : not everyone has someone they trust to leave a tiny baby with. Daycare providers are trained to work with children, have CPR certification, probably have years of dealing with babies, there are plenty of other people around, etc.
Just because I take my kid to daycare doesn’t mean I just leave her with anyone.
Post # 40
Westwood : exactly that’s why I don’t see an issue with leaving the baby for a few hours unless physically not plausible as giving birth could take its toll or no one trusted around.
Post # 41
futuremardinly : yes, I’m in the UK and still off on mat leave with my 11 month old. First time I left her for more than an hour (i.e. When feeding was required) was at 5 months old when I went out for the day for a hen do.
Post # 42
KatesTheWord : this sounds like the decision i would make in these circumstances too.
Post # 43
KatesTheWord : Enough people have said it but I would definitely decline. You don’t feel great enough to attend a wedding one month after giving birth. Finding something to wear with your body still changing… finding the time and energy to make yourself look wedding-ready? That’s a lot. Don’t put the pressure on yourself. We attended a wedding 7 weeks after I gave birth and it was okay but that was definitely right around the time when I was ready to step out and get some fresh air. 4 weeks? No way.