(Closed) “Friend’s” wedding …should I go?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hey, so sorry to hear that. How long it has been going on with them excluding you from everything? Can you think of anything that you might have done to make them do that? Or they just do it with no reason? And I feel so bad that even though you told them how you felt and they don’t even care.

If I were you, I would try to keep my distance from them and see how they will act. And try not to check their facebook or anything. It will only hurt you not them.

If they are going to have a good time without you anyways, I wouldn’t bother try to be friends wth them or anything. They are just trying to use you if they need you and they wouldn’t include you for any of wedding. It is sad and I understand that you want your friends back, but things gotta be two-way not you just trying everything. Sorry. But I would try to not to bother too much. And if they invited you to the wedding then I would still go because they will be other friends (your husband and his mutual friends and stuff) and still have a good time and if they don’t want to include you then I will just try to have fun with other friends. It is their loss. And people don’t know the whole story and probably will say bad things about you if they know they your friend invited you and you didn’t go to her wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sorry your going through this. I don’t understand why they stepped down from your wedding. Did they say why? It seems extreme in response to you telling them your feelings were hurt. Unfortunately the more you address the situation the more distance you will create. I think I would let it be and go to the wedding if you want to salvage anything of the relationships. Sometimes friendships do change, I would look for new friends.

Post # 5
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldn’t go- that is just plain ole hurtful what they did- don’t go.

Post # 6
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I would go, but I would go to have a vacation with my husband, that just happens to involve a wedding rather then put all the importance on the wedding. You are not a part of the bridal party, so you don’t have to be involved in all the chaos. Just think, while L is being yelled at by S because her hair has gone flat and her dress seems tight, you can be sipping a Bacardi poolside! For me it’s a win/win situation.

During the ceremony just smile and know that you were there to support your friend when she asked it of you. Personally, I think your friendship became a victim to your marriage in so much that there is truth to couples befriending couples and singles befriending singles. S soon will no longer be a single, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she starts to want to get together with you two to do “couple things” rather then club-hop with the single L. 

If however looking forward, you know you have no intention of keeping the friendship alive, you are more then allowed to decline.

Post # 7
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, I would totally go as a good excuse for a vacation.  But stay away from your friend, she sounds like a drama llama and it isn’t worth hitting your head against a brick wall about.  Just go and have a good time with your husband.

Post # 8
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would go and have a good time with your husband on vacation. Attend their wedding because it may be awkward socially if you don’t, but I would give up on being close friends with either one of them unless THEY are the ones to initiate the change and put the effort in.

Post # 9
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Why do women (girls) do this crap?!  I empathize with you, OP.  I have found myself in this sort of situation multiple times in life.  It always happens when three girls get together.  One of them always gets left out maliciously and purposely, and I am always the one who gets left out.

If I were you, I’d cut your losses and move on.  Don’t go to the wedding.  Why spend that much money going to a wedding of people who are mean to you?  Go on a nice trip with your hubby instead!

Post # 10
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This is a SUPER dumb question and I apologize in advance, but are you from the states?  I thought it was still really difficult (technically ‘illegal’) for US residents to travel to Cuba unless it was for a specific program?  Unless you’re going through Mexico or another country… ?

Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh my goodness! I am a wedding coordinator for my new friends wedding and she is going through the same thing!

frankly I would go to the wedding since she already took the time off and it would be a mini vacation. But while you are at the wedding…mind your business and mingle, offer your congratulations and leave and go have fun in Cuba! 

When you get home distance yourself from these drama filled “teenagers” remove them from your FB and find yourself some new more mature friends. 

Who cares if your husbands friend is dating L, ignore her butt when you all go out and look fabulous because you dont care!

Do you girl not anyone else!

Post # 12
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

That sucks :(.  I went through the same thing with the very first girl I made friends with in law school (though we weren’t friends nearly as long as y’all were).  We hung out all the time and we each kept saying how glad we were we found someone to hang with so quickly and we had so much fun together watching bad reality shows and going to dinner…and then she made friends with people in her own section and dropped me like a hot potato.  Made excuses, cancelled plans with less than an hour’s notice blah blah.  Her birthday party, then one I talked with her about and helped her plan just two months before, suddenly I wasn’t invited until I said happy birthday on her fb wall and she responded “Thanks girl!  I’m getting together with my friends for the festivities around 6 if you want to come.”  With my friends.  As in not with you.  

I say eff her.  Don’t go to the wedding and drop those girls the way they dropped you.  You’re better than how they’re treating you.  Some girls love to see you begging for their friendship.  When I finally took a hint and stopped asking my friend to hang out, a month later I got a whiny text asking “are you mad at meeeee?”  I wouldn’t be surprised if they did something similar once they realized you’re not there anymore.  

Post # 13
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly I wouldn’t go to the wedding. They seem like very toxic and self absorbed immature girls. You’ll be surprised how easy it is too let go of bad friends.

Post # 14
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would go.

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