Friends with a married colleague

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
1182 posts
Bumble bee

For a woman who is engaged to be married, you seem to be putting a lot of thought and energy into another man. 

Just let it go. 

Post # 17
2608 posts
Sugar bee

May I respectfully suggest you cut down the drinking at work parties?

Post # 18
596 posts
Busy bee

anon1223 :  No judgement at all. I would be willing to bet most of us gals on these boards have had our own “Bob” at work one time or another. I had a Bob my last two jobs (complained to each other; ate lunch; drinks after work; off-colored banter). The modern term for the relationship you and Bob had is referred to as a work spouse. I’m guessing you’re not in the US, but here, work spouses are starting to become a positive trend in the workplace. There have been studies on work spouses, and how employees are more productive because of these relationships. The reason we need them is they’re the only person on earth who can relate to the stresses you deal with professionally. It’s someone you can complain about your boss to, and you know it won’t land you in HR. My fiancé has three work spouses, and they’re all amazing gals who respect our relationship, yet are there for him professionally. You should go back without any hesitation. If your relationship picks up where it left off, there is no harm in it as long as neither of you crosses the line professionally. If his intentions are a relationship beyond the office, it would be best to avoid him. 

Forgot to comment on your friend: she’s the office gossip, isn’t she? Probably has a whole nest of gossips waiting for her to deliver the juicy details. Next time she says anything, tell her you don’t know what she’s talking about. She’s probably they type to run with what you tell her, and add her own twist to an otherwise benign story. 

Post # 19
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2005

bearinabeecostume :  I have never had a Bob/coworker who thought it was appropriate to make comments about the size of my breast. 

Yes work spouses are a thing, but its not always a good thing. Jen and her saga where her spouse had an affair with his work spouses proves that. Im sure other bees besides me can attest to it.

It is never appropriate for any coworker, work spouse or otherwise to comment on another coworkers appearance or make passes at them. You cant spin that. If my coworker is looking at my breast and making comments and ill attempted passes he has something other than work on his mind.


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