(Closed) Friends with addictions…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Miss Mitzie: You have two choices. You can tell her family (her parents) or you can walk away. I would choose the former. You have the choice to help this person on her path to recovery. The easy thing to do is to walk away. Usually the hardest thing is the right thing though and that’s why I think you should tell her family.

I am saying this because 3 days ago my brother told his best friend’s dad that he is addicted to oxy. Darling Husband was the one to convince my brother to do this as Darling Husband had told a friends dad that his daughter was addicted to  crystal meth several years ago.

You have the choice to help save her life. It wont be an easy road but she will be very appreciative when she has someone there for support through her recovery. And kudos to you on being clean – Im sure it was not an easy path for you either. 🙂

Post # 4
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

As you know, you can continue to talk to your blue in the face and she doesn’t sound like she’s listening.  You have tried to help her, but you can’t help her if she doesn’t want the help.   It’s hard to see someone you care about loose themselves to drugs, but you can’t sacrifice your own sobriety.  You may even want to go talk to a counselor or your sponser (if you went that route) or someone just to make sure your ok.  ((Hugs)) stay strong … let her know if she does want the help that you can be there for her then, but until then you can’t.

Post # 5
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d tell a family member. She won’t get help until she wants help, unfortunately, but you can’t be responsible for her, either. It may not even work–my mom refused to believe my brother was on hard drugs for quite some time, despite me telling her explicitly that he was. You have obviously tried to help, but at the same time, i think it’s important to step back for your own sake.

Good luck =(. And good job for staying clean! that’s a huge accomplishment

Post # 6
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

can you convince her to go to an NA meeting with you?

if not, i would step away. realizing that she’s losing her friendships could be a powerful motivator for her to actually get treatment. it’s more important for you to stay healthy though. i know how painful it is to watch someone in such a downward spiral, but you really have to take care of yourself first. i’m not sure telling her family would help — they probably already know — but it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Post # 7
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

i think you of all people know that she isnt going to stop unless she wants to. all you can do is be there for support. That doesnt mean you have to be BFF..i honestly think it would be smart of you to stay away from someone with those tendencies but you can still support from a distance. Patience and time…hopefully she will come around but you cant really help an addict…they have to want to help themselves ya know?

proud of you for overcoming the addiction 🙂

Post # 8
17 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think that you should definitely tell someone you feel could help her your concerns about her increasing drug use.  At least someone in your hometown would be able to offer some sort of intervention.  It’s much harder for you to do that from a distance.  That being said, I would keep my distance from her … especially if her behaviors trigger you and threaten your sobriety. Not to sound selfish, but you need to worry about yourself first.  I’m from the school of thought that only the addict can decide when they want to get help.  No amount of phone calls or emails are going to work if she doesn’t see that she has a problem. 

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