(Closed) Friends with Exes?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you friends with your exes?
    I am not, but my significant other is and I am okay with that. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    I am, but my signifcant other is not. He/she is okay with that. : (31 votes)
    25 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. It just happened that way. : (28 votes)
    23 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. On purpose. : (40 votes)
    33 %
    Other (explain below) : (20 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    572 posts
    Busy bee

    Me and the Boyfriend or Best Friend were just talking about this. IMO, I don’t think it is appropriate to be friends with your ex. if they are in your past, it’s for a reason.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2007 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We’re still friends with our casual ex’s but not the serious ones.  It works pretty well for us.  I think if J wasn’t friends with any of his ex’s he wouldn’t have ANY female friends left!  (Which actually I wouldn’t like at all because most of them are very cool girls and now we’re friends. 🙂 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’m not on speaking terms with any of my exes, not because the situation is hostile, but just because they were important to me at one point in my life, and they are no longer important to me, or play a role in my life anymore.  SO is friends with a few of his exes, and while I don’t 100% approve, I know that he doesn’t see them in a girlfriend-ly or intimate way anymore, so I guess it’s fine.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Neither of us are, but it just ended up that way.  We both have a couple of exes where there are no bad feelings, and we’re ‘facebook friends’ but we don’t see any in person.  There are just a lot of factors I think for stuff like this.  As long as there is an appropriate relationship with no flirting etc, I don’t think there’s any problem with it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Fiance and I moved across the country together, so neither of us see much of our exes, but there are a few we both keep in touch with. Not a big deal, though neither of us are in touch with The Big Ones in our pasts, just people we dated for a little while.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    We don’t live near them.  Both of us will occasionally get a facebook message and respond or send one to check in once in awhile.  Those are for relationships where we really cared about the person and things just didn’t work out but it’s nice to know they’re ok and happy in life.

    There are people I’m not comfortable with him talking to and he’d prefer I didn’t talk to but it’s more because of the way they’ve handled themselves than just the idea of it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Other – we’re both friends with exes and neither of us has a problem with it. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We’re both friends with our exes and okay with it. I don’t have much in common with his ex (sorry but she’s not very smart), so I try to avoid hanging out with her for my own sanity. I don’t care about the “ex” part.

    We hang out with my ex and his gf every couple months. We all get along really well. We had a Christmas party in December with a lot of friends, including both of our exes and SO’s. When my friends started connecting the dots they were in shock, it was hilarious!

    Post # 11
    Member
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    after my exes and I broke up, we kept in touch over the years but it just faded away with time. if I ran into them I would say hi and what not but thats about it

    Post # 12
    Member
    4123 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    So, My ex is still one of my closest friends. We were best friends before dating, that only lasted like 2 months and then we broke up 🙂 But, we both have also only been in 3 relationships. One that Fiance was almost dating is now dating my ex…. and we double date all the time… hahahaha

    Post # 13
    Member
    655 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I know I’d be jealous if he was friends with an ex from a serious relationship (in most circumstances–not all), so out of respect to him I offer him the same. I am FB friends with an ex, but I share with my Fiance about any interactions we have.

    But then my brother and his good friend are both engaged to each others’ exes, and it works fine. I think in the end it depends on the ex, depends on the relationship, and depends on the breakup.

    Post # 14
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Heck no!  No way not even a little bit.  In a perfect world, maybe. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    626 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i am fortunate enough to say I’ve dated a lot of great guys– I have no terrible breakups to speak of. 

    I can’t exactly vote on this poll though— These men are very special to me but I wouldn’t exactly call us “friends”. I send them a happy birthday text once a year and that’s pretty much it. THey may send something in return — like hows life, etc — but we don’t really keep up more than that. I have a fiance, they are all in serious relationships… so its just a “hey hows life” sort of relationship.. nothing more nothing less. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    …we both are.

    I’m surprised there’s not a poll option for that, since your post says you both are too. 🙂

    I voted other.

    We’re not friends with ALL of our exes, but some of them, yes. Those with whom things ended on amiable terms. It doesn’t really bother us – probably helps that we were friends for 8 years before we started dating, so we’ve seen each others’ relationships that have crashed and burned, and know that the other person is only into us.

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