(Closed) Friends with Exes?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you friends with your exes?
    I am not, but my significant other is and I am okay with that. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    I am, but my signifcant other is not. He/she is okay with that. : (31 votes)
    25 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. It just happened that way. : (28 votes)
    23 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. On purpose. : (40 votes)
    33 %
    Other (explain below) : (20 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Neither of us are friends with our exes, but that’s because we don’t want to be.  It doesn’t have anything to do with us as a couple.

    Post # 18
    Member
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    honestly it depends on the previous relationship and how that ended.  

    i’m not friends with my ex and it’s a mix of choice and it just happened that way.  my fi started out friends but then drifted apart.  if they were to meet up and hang out it wouldnt bother me (even though i would prefer to know in advance).  to be honest, i’m actually more comfortable with the idea of that now since i’m engaged than when we were just dating.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    both of us are – but only with the exes that ended well. for instance the ex i was with before FH who i refer to as the a$$hole with no soul, yeah i havent talked to him since i told him not to ever contact me until he gave me my $$ back. havent heard from him since and dont really care to. same with his most recent ex who used to try and break me and him up – i nipped that in the bud and theres no contact anymore, but the more casual exes we had (i.e. short relationships – casual dating etc) we are friends still with.

    i think it depends on how it ended, and how serious it was?

    Post # 20
    Member
    20 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    We both are.  If we aren’t, it’s because they’ve drifted out of our lives and not out of any animosity or desire to not be friends.

    It might have bothered me in my previous relationship, but I’m secure in knowing how he feels about me and where things stand.  I mean, he’s putting a ring on my finger for a reason.  🙂

    Post # 21
    Member
    347 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2020

    We’re both friends (not great friends, but still on speaking terms) with some of our old exes from when we were really young, like high school.

    We were both in 4+ year relationships before we started dating, and we don’t talk to them anymore.  It just happened.  

    I’m still facebook friends with all of my exes except for the most recent one and I think he is too. There’s no hard feelings there, so it’s no big deal.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1738 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    we both are friends with our ex’s and we dont have any issues with it!

    Post # 24
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    we’re both friends with our exes, although he is more than I. It is a hot topic right now, because my ex just asked me last night if he is invited to the wedding. I hadn’t planned on it, just because he won’t know anyone but my family. But since he is expressing interest, I’ll invite him. My Fiance honestly doesn’t mind. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    The most contact we have is via occasional email/ internet message.  It’s just easier that way.

    Post # 26
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    i have two ex’s from serious relationships and quite a few from some not so serious. i am friends with/on good terms with all of my not so serious relationships (and two have become really good friends with my FI) and with the serious two, one is considered one of my best friends and Fiance is really cool with him, but the other has caused a lot of problems with my current relationship. he was the most serious.

    Fiance is on good terms with his ex’s but not exactly friends. with his ex-fiance, he definitely isn’t friends with.

    a little of everything!

    Post # 27
    Member
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i think it depends. i’m friends with one ex. his family and mine are very close, i’ve known him since i was a baby, our families do everything together so it would just be weird if we weren’t friends. he’s married now, and so am i, so it’s not a huge deal. but i would never be friends with another ex… we dated for over 7 years and he didn’t treat me very well (which i didn’t really understand until i found my husband who is amazing to me). i just think it would be easier for me if i didn’t talk to him, and i’m sure my husband wouldn’t fight with me about it but he wouldn’t be happy about it, so it’s just not worth it for me.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I didn’t vote on the poll because I couldn’t choose between: 

    Neither of us are friends with our exes. It just happened that way.

    Neither of us are friends with our exes. On purpose.

    I have no desire to be friends with any of those guys. I figure there’s a reason why we don’t talk anymore since we broke up, so I’m not going to force it. Plus, when I say goodbye in relationships, I probably don’t ever want to see you again. I like to “keep it moving” as the youngsters say. lol

    Post # 29
    Member
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    We fit under “other” I guess….

    I only have one ex. We stayed “friends” for about a year after we broke up, but it was one of those messy we-broke-up-but-we’re-kind-of-still-dating situations, so when he found another girl I cut off contact for quite a while. He and my husband have been friends for years, though, since before I dated my ex even, we share a close circle of friends, and he’s now dating one of my best friends. So, although I wouldn’t call him a friend (and we’re not facebook friends), I still see him periodically in group settings and my husband still talks to him.

    My husband has two exes. One he doesn’t have contact with (she was a high school romance). The other one, his ex-fiance, is still friends with both of us on facebook (again, she’s in our same circle of friends and I was friends with her before they dated) but neither of us have much contact with her (it’s just a little awkward) so it doesn’t bother me.

    We did talk about whether or not we would invite the exes to our wedding, but decided not to in both cases because we wanted to avoid any awkwardness. I think my ex would’ve wanted to come, though, if we’d invited him, because he kept asking about wedding planning and asking if we were excited and such.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Darling Husband doesn’t talk to any of his exes.  I am still “friends” with exes but there aren’t any I regularly see or talk to.  The last guy I was in a “I love you” relationship with before Darling Husband (there were other shorter ones in between)…yah, I won’t even be FB friends w/ him.  😉

    Post # 31
    Bee
    2360 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    I voted other because we are both friendly with some exes and it’s not really a problem for either of us

    The topic ‘Friends with Exes?’ is closed to new replies.

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