(Closed) Friends with Exes?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Are you friends with your exes?
    I am not, but my significant other is and I am okay with that. : (4 votes)
    3 %
    I am, but my signifcant other is not. He/she is okay with that. : (31 votes)
    25 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. It just happened that way. : (28 votes)
    23 %
    Neither of us are friends with our exes. On purpose. : (40 votes)
    33 %
    Other (explain below) : (20 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    i am friends with one of my exes, but it was a casual thing. no serious exes for either of us.

    Post # 33
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    You left off the option for “We both are, and it’s not a problem”.  That’s us!

    Post # 34
    Member
    2090 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m FB friends with 1 non-serious ex, but I wouldn’t say we are really “friends”, we just don’t have much in common and now live 1000 miles apart – no hard feelings or anything. Needless to say, I am NOT friends with my serious ex in any sense of the word. 😉

    FH is now friends with his ex-wife (that took a while after her behavior which lead to the divorce!), and friends (more FB friends than real friends) with the woman he somewhat seriously dated prior to me. I don’t care that he’s friends with either of them. I know they talk/e-mail/see each other at work conferences (the ex wife, not the ex-girlfriend), and it doesn’t bug me.

    Post # 35
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    We are not.  I requested that he cut off communication with his ex because I felt it wasn’t normal to spend that much time with an ex, especially when we were dating long distance.  And to me, it just didn’t make sense, for her to know everything about us and be a part of our lives.  With my ex, he didn’t exactly tell me stop talking to him but I know he didn’t like it, especially when it was clear that my ex was not over our relationship, so that was out and done. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    definately not friends! Causes too much jealousy. We try to stay away from drama

    Post # 37
    Member
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I couldn’t agree more with lolaj; I’ve never been one – if it doesn’t work out, I move on.  He was and it caused a lot of drama and fights; one of them just wanted to still invoke herself into his family and was even put off when he started dated me even though she secretly married and told no one (they later had a wedding, more than a year from the anniversary).  After awhile, we successfully put the kabosh on that.  Other was more casual and the gal didn’t take it far, but she was sooo much younger and I felt if there wasn’t much in common for the relationship, no need to be friends.

    We’ve been together for almost three years and it worked out for the best…

    Post # 38
    Member
    552 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I didn’t vote.  Our situation is kind of weird…and by kind of weird I mean VERY unusual. I am friends with my ex (of many years-pretty serious), and we hang out to double date with my fiance and his live-in girlfriend. It sounds really weird, but we are okay with it.  We only see them every few months or so. 

    He is friends with some (not all) exes. We see them with groups of old friends occasionally and it works out well. His most serious ex (from college) is really good friends by proxy to almost all of my FI’s friends. He would care not to talk to her at all… but she is kind of in the social mix and it would be hard to cut those ties without making a big deal out of nothing. She’s pretty nice, and we get along well. I stood up in her wedding a few months ago. It was kind of weird, but worked out.

    Being friends with exes is not really something that works for everyone or every situation, but it works out well enough for us.  We have been together for almost 4 years and are solid with our relationship (hello! impending matrimony 😛 ) and just take everything else as it comes.

     

    ETA: this looks stranger as I reread it.

    Post # 39
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I’m friends with one of my exes. I think we will always be friends seeing as tho we were that before we were anything else. The rest of my exes are inappropriate for me to be friends with…and one of them is a stalker whom I have a restraining order against. My fiance is not friends with any of his exes because they’re all crazy or inappropriate. Some of them started sending him inappropriate text messages and myspace messages when they found how serious he was about me. Needless to say I and he shut that down real quick.

    It’s funny because we saw one of his exes at her job (A Department Store) the other day and when she saw us she has this wierd look on her face and in my head I was thinking what is wrong with this chic. He had told me stories about how crazy she was but I didn’t know it was her til we left and he told me. She checked us out to. Lol!! I got a kick out of that. Then later we found out that she was contacting people they are mutually friends with trying to get his number.

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    456 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I was friends with my most serious ex up until he got married.  And i struggled with the fact that our relationship had to end at that time.  But now i get it.  i just cant see (for me) taking that huge step with someone else while still having someone like that in my life.  There was a part of us that always lived in the past while he was a part of my life, and i just don’t think I could fully immerse myself in a relationship until we cut ties.  Obviously, this depends on the nature of the relationship and the breakup.

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