Post # 1
Does anyone else feel that their family and/or friends give too much negative (unasked for) feedback with your wedding plans??
Fiance and I have been engaged for 6 months now. At about month 3, I decided that I needed to stop asking/listening to everyone’s advice about what we “should do” and just plan things how we want to. So I stopped asking people’s opinions, and really don’t share much about the wedding planning unless prompted by others with specific questions. Don’t get me wrong, I can handle criticism and disagreeing with people, but there’s always sooooooo many different, loving, trying-to-be-helpful opinions from people, that it just can get exhausting…and annoying.
However, people still like to nit-pick at things (that half the time I wouldn’t talk about unless they asked…and you can’t really avoid). For example, I created our invitations, and after the 5th different design, and probably 20 hours to just create the final template (yes, I was obsessing), we had the design and we both LOVED it. Well, he really wanted to show his family when they asked about our planning. And of course one of his relatives didn’t like how this line read in the RSVP, or this person didn’t like the spacing between these words. This is just one of many stories.
Am I just being a huge bitch, or can anyone else relate??
(sigh…Ok, I feel a little better. Thank you.)
Post # 3
I haven’t gotten into much tangible planning, but so far I just run things by Fiance and show pics to Maid/Matron of Honor…I don’t ask opinions from others..I’m sure I will ask my mom questions too at some point
Post # 4
During the planning it definately is stressful and frustrating. I think as brides we get more sensitive and people get more outspoken then they normally would. But soon enough all of these annoyances will just be distant memories and you will think “Why did that even bother me”.
Its just best to smile and nod and say “We are happy with our choice. We made it together and works for us”
Post # 5
I only asked immediate family if they were OK with some of our ideas as far as location. They’d all have to fly in so we wanted to make sure it’s somewhere they’d want to vacation as well (it was Jackson Hole).
It’s all moot since we decided to elope.
Other than that, we did not disclose or share ANYTHING ELSE related to the wedding. They were honestly all guests that were just going to get an invitation. You can’t really say much AFTER the invitation has been bought and sent to you. It’s kind of like asking what a new mother is going to name her baby. After the kid is named, people don’t really say that they don’t like it!
I suggest limiting things you tell to others, like you suggested, and I hope that works from here on out!
Yes, I think as brides we get hyper sensitive about the expensive party we are throwing.
Post # 6
NO! You are not being a bitch! Do what makes you happy!!! If you like it, then it’s perfect! It’s your wedding, not theirs….
My mother was driving me nuts TWO days after I got engaged. My head was still spinning from trying to let the engagement factor set in and I hadn’t even BEGUN to think about my wedding at all. I’m 36 and I am not the kind of girl who sat around dreaming about a wedding, so I have no ideas on what I want, where I want it, what time of year, etc. My mother, however, had apparently sat around thinking about my wedding. She definitely had ideas and felt the need to “request” things and begin instructing me on who needed to be in my bridal party which was to include two cousins who are 12 and 9. Um, NOPE. My gorgeous, 13 year old Goddaugher, yes. Cousins, NO way. Since then, I have kept everything to myself, my fiance and my two dear friends who are awesome and have helped me tremendously.
The best advice that I keep getting is, “Do what YOU want regardless of what other people say. It’s YOUR wedding.” While that sounds easy, it isn’t, but I am doing my best to follow it.