(Closed) Friendship ended over my bridal party decision…long

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry about this.  It really sounds like Mary is being petty (especially if you weren’t as close as you used to be).  If she acts like this, she isn’t worth it.

Post # 4
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow.  Those girls seem really immature.  If they are acting like that, they just justified your decision to exclude them from your bridal party.  You don’t need the drama.

Post # 5
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wow. Over reacting a bit, isn’t she! I nearly had this with a girl I’d been ‘friends’ with since school – when I got engaged, the second thing out of her mouth was “Let me know when we’re going Bridesmaid or Best Man dress shopping”! I froze and said nothing, and we fell out soon after on totally unrelated stuff. I’ll be still inviting her – would be just too weird not to – but glad I don’t have your issue! I have four BMs, all his sisters, and pretty much my best friends anyway.

If Mary keeps her current attitude, leave her at it. She’ll find she’s only hurting herself if she’s avoiding nights out etc because you’d be there. You’ll be there, havin a great time!

Post # 6
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sorry!  That really sucks.  It really sounds like Mary is being super immature about the whole thing.  You could try reaching out to her again, but it’s probably not worth it.  It does sound like Jane is getting over the whole thing, even though she was hurt initially. 

Post # 8
179 posts
Blushing bee

You have nothing to feel bad about. I think it’s really petty that they would make SUCH A BIG DEAL about not being Bridesmaid or Best Man. I’m sure they probably can acknowledge that you are no longer closer to each other, maybe it’s just ego here since the other 2 girls got asked.

There isn’t much you can do. I wouldn’t worry about it too much, don’t feel guilty over everything that’s happened. You made the best decision you could and no one can fault you for not wanting to include them in your bridal party. It’s unfortunate that all of this drama had to unfold but maybe one day they’ll understand when they have to chose a bridal party for their wedding. Don’t let Mary’s words stop you from going to Sarah’s B-Day either.

What happened to you is the exact reason why I decided to only have an Maid/Matron of Honor and no BM’s. LOL I foresaw having the same drama that you’re having right now if I decided to have BM’s so I avoided it all together and made an obvious choice for Maid/Matron of Honor, my best friend.

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