(Closed) Friendship ending BM drama

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I say just relax and breathe.  If she doesn’t order the dress by a set date (think of the absolute last day she can order it and get it in time) then she has removed herself from your bridal party.  Don’t worry about replacing her.  Mismatched bridal parties still work out just fine in the end.  Sorry your Bridesmaid or Best Man is being so flaky.

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I dont have any great advice, other than maybe calling her and saying “if you don’t order by Wednesday, the price will go up to X”- to try to get her in there before ordering on Thursday

Also, as someone who used to work and order for a bridal shop, depending on how good of a relationship you have with your bridal store, you could maybe ask them to call the designer and get an estimated shipping date. When brides were stressed about arrival times I would sometimes do this for them to relieve some stress. Although the shop may not because brides tend to think that date is set in stone and harass the shop if the dresses are late, but it’s worth a shot

Post # 5
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would just let her drop the ball( which she already has), if she does not have a dress then she can’t be a bridesmaid. Then you don’t have to deal with cutting her, you can say in a few weeks ” oh darn it, well don’t worry about it I’ll deal with it” . She most likely is just so caught up, maybe to much in her own wedding. If she’s a good friend I wouldn’t let this destroy a friendship. Maybe it would be a good idea to tell her one more time but add in that you still want her to be a bridesmaid but am wondering if she has time and resources.

Post # 6
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would be more pissed off at the cousin wanting the same dress as your bridesmaids (different colour or not) as there is more than one style of dress on the planet. Anyhow forget about Facebook and call her up ASAP and tell her if she doesn’t have the dress ordered by say 5pm tomorrow she can forget about being a bridesmaid. 

Post # 7
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why don’t you order it for her in whatever size youthink willfut her best and just tell her you’ve placed th order and paid the deposit and now she owes you $80.  If it doesn’t fit exactly, there are always alterations. 

Post # 9
Member
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

Is it the same shop?  Do they have her measurements so you could just order one that would fit her?  Maybe I’m confused.

Post # 10
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@bricon:  +1

Post # 13
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t see that as friendship ending unless, of course, you let it be. If she doesn’t get her dress in time, she has to worry about coming up with the rush fee. If not, then she won’t be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. That doesn’t mean she can’t be your friend anymore, or that ou couldn’t invite her as a guest. Chill. It’s all good. You’ve given her the timeframe. That’s all you can do. Do NOT order it for her and take it upon yourself to put down the deposit. 1) if you order the wrong size, are you covering the alterations? And 2) she’s a grown woman. 

And you do not need a backup MoH. If she goes into early labor, you shouldn’t replace her with your cousin. 

Post # 14
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is it bothering you more that she’s priotizing her wedding and life over your wedding, or that she hasn’t ordered the dress yet? If it really is just the dress, and everything else is fine and you’re still excited to have her stand up with you on your wedding day, then put the deposit down and order the dress for her. To be honest, three weeks isn’t a ton of time to get to the shop and order the dress so you could do her that favor.

If you think that there might be more going on in your relationship and you’d be just fine without her at the altar with you, then just let her drop the ball and tell her that you’re sorry, but without the dress, she won’t be your bridesmaid.

Post # 15
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t see this as friendship ending or drama-just someone dropping the ball. You are not responsible for her decision making, organization or money savings. Leave it on her to solve. 

Post # 16
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Wow I am sorry to hear you are going through this….it sounds like she’s put you in a tough position…I understand that she may be busy planning her own wedding…but it’d be helpful if she had the presence of mind to at least say she has to much going on and can’t commit to your wedding…I agree with the other bees that said just let it be and if she misses the deadline then she has eliminated herself from being a Bridesmaid or Best Man

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