(Closed) Friendship gone sour… NWR

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

If this is a relationship you would like to keep you need to talk with her. Tell her you value your friendship and miss how close you used to be. Ask her if you have done something to damage the friendship and give her a chance to respond. It can be hard to do this in person (but it is probably best!), but if you have a hard time doing this you could write her a hand written note as well and ask her to call you when she is ready to talk.

You can’t fix something when you dont know where it is broken. It sounds like something has changed, but only she can tell you what it is.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jennyflipflops: Can you go over to her desk one day and ask if she wants to go to lunch?

Or propose a post work drink or something to really “catch up” outside of work.

 

Maybe she’s feeling like she was putting in all the effort and didn’t get the reciprocation from you.

Maybe getting out of the office environment will help to reestablish your friendship.

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jennyflipflops: Maybe she’s not fully comfortable being her true friend self in the work environment?

Sometimes people act differently in a work environment then a personal one.

Is she in any way in a supervisory role to you? Maybe she doesn’t want to be seen as playing favorites?

I think some happy hour drinks out just you and her might be in order.

Post # 8
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with Kat that you should invite her out to drinks/dinner one night after work.  It seems like you are sort of putting the responsibility on her.  When you are out… don’t say anything accusatory like “why don’t you come talk to me any more?  why do you spend more time with Sarah than me?”  Just tell her you feel like you guys haven’t been able to spend as much time with each as you would like lately and you’re so glad you’re gettng the chance to catch up and reconnect.  I think at that point she would be honest with you if there was something that was causing an issue in the friendship for her.

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jennyflipflops: Instead of beating yourself up and getting all in your own head, go out one on one with her and ask her.

Just say, “Hey I’ve noticed you’ve been a little more distant at work lately, is everything ok?”

Do it out of concern for her, rather than out of wondering if she doesn’t like you any more.

 

ETA: Forget my convo starter… I like Moose’s better.

Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jennyflipflops: Yup, ask her to go for a drink just the two of you and don’t say a THING about the wedding.

If she asks, answer very shortly but nicely and then bring the convo back to her.

She may feel like you are leaving her behind entering the next stage of your life and won’t have room for her as a friend any more.

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