(Closed) Friendship in peril

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
8937 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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askingforafriend :  Time to let it go. It’s disappointing and surprising to learn someone doesn’t feel the same about us as we do about them, but it happens. If you’d be ok being “less” friends now that you know, that’s fine. If you would rather not be friends at all, that’s also understandable. Either way, I see nothing to gain from another conversation with her about it.

Post # 3
Member
1009 posts
Bumble bee

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askingforafriend :  She told you all you need to know through her email response. She clearly doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, and doesn’t seem concerned about losing your friendship. 

Now you have to decide what you want – do you want to keep going out of your way for a one-sided friendship, or do you want to move on and put your energy into better things?

Also, I’m sorry for your loss – it sucks to lose a friend!

Post # 4
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee

Let the hurt feelings go. Weddings are complicated. I would still be her friend. It’s hard making those types of decisions and even harder to communicate them without hurting someone’s feelings. A friendship is not about who does what for who or who gives more. It’s just about being there. But if you really thinks that she doesn’t care about you, or your friendship with her isn’t worth your time and effort, then by all means, let the friendship go. But let it go because the value of the friendship, not solely because she didn’t choose you as a bridesmaid or failed at communication it well (as I said, weddings are complicated).

Post # 5
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2017

As hard as it is I think it’s time to let the friendship go, it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it. Nancy hasn’t shown enough care or concern, you’ll be better off without the drama! 

Post # 6
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

let it go – why waste time and eneregy andeffort caring about a person who seemingly doesn’t care about you.

Input and output in this friendship do not match which is leaving you drained and hurt – not worth it!

Sorry Bee 🙁 But you deserve a better friend than that!!

Post # 7
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Let the friendship go. If she decides at some point that she cares enough to reach out to you and reconcile, you can be open to that effort. But you’ve done enough for now. Why would you fight for this friendship when she doesn’t seem to care that much about it? Is it really worth the unhappiness?

Post # 8
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I ended a friendship when the person replied back to a text where I explained how she hurt my feelings (and not in an accusing text, either. I thought long and hard and waited for weeks before I sent it) with, “I’m sorry you were intentionally misinformed.” Right there, the friendship died for me. 

This person is not a friend if she cannot be bothered to at least acknowledge your feelings. It’s not easy to open up and say, “Hey, you hurt me with your actions” because none of us like to seem vulnerable, but when someone essentially pooh hoos it, then time to cut them off. 

Post # 9
Member
7484 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, it sounds like you created a lot of drama and handled something as hurtful when there wasn’t any ill intent. I think you may just want to let your friend have some space for a bit. Her email was probably very formal because she wasn’t sure how to respond without continuing the drama. Just take a break from the topic for a while.

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