- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I have a friend who I have been very close to since we were 11 years old. She was one of the few girls who I knew I could always count on no matter what. So of course I asked her to be a bridesmaid shortly after getting engaged. (I know, I know, I’ve already gotten tongue-lashings from people about asking her too early, but I never expected something like this to happen so now I have to deal with this):
A few months into my engagement, I was having a really hard time with finances/personal issues/family illnesses/job issues/etc and was really upset and depressed. A lot of my friends abanoned me because they didn’t understand what I was going through. And a married couple from my group of friends (that included this good friend of mine, we’ll call her L), were totally ruthless and condescending towards me. They started insulting me, my family, my fiance, my choices, how I was dealing with things, etc. (and most of it was in “public” like at parties, on Facebook).
I finally had enough and totally FLIPPED out on the couple one day. Granted, it was on Facebook, b/c I’m rather passive aggressive, but regardless. The damage was done. My friendship with this couple, which had been on the rocks for several reasons for several months, was over.
But my friend L was (and still is) really good friends with them, AND the rest of the group that I used to be super close to.
But 90% of this group has totally turned their back on me. I don’t consider them my friends anymore and know I can’t ever trust them again.
I would like to give L the benefit of the doubt and say that I can still trust her and be friends with her even though this group loathes me and my fiance for stupid reasons, but I just don’t know if I can.
I don’t see her as much as I used to, so I miss her. But when we do get together, it’s awkward. And I always find myself wondering if she’s talking a/b me with “the group” behind my back.
This is so stupid and childish and high school. I hate it.
The thing that bothers me the most is that if it weren’t for this arrogant, nasty couple that sparked this whole argument, I wouldn’t have a single issue with my friend L.
AUGH! I seriously don’t know what to do. When I try to cut her out of my life, I feel guilty and sad and miss her.
When I try to reconnect, I feel stupid and awkward.
As of now, she’s still a bridesmaid and a friend. But … I just have no idea how to feel about this.
And to add fuel to the fire, one of my other BMs has recently admitted that she’s never liked L and doesn’t think L deserves to be in my wedding, etc. Ugh, I do NOT need to deal with this!
I don’t know, maybe I’m just venting.