- 6 years ago
I don’t even know what to call this post. I’m kinda trying to work out the logistics of getting married, how to handle friendships, and how much time do you have to spend with your SO?
This is going to be a little bit of a word blurt, so here goes…
Friendships? Currently J and I have our own sets of friends. I’ve met some of his, and he’s met some of mine, but we don’t really “hang out” with each others friends. I don’t really have a problem with it, but sometimes I would like to go out with other couples to dinner, etc. He seems to think when we get married (and move halfway across the country) we will just make all new “couple” friends and we can hang out with them. But I still want to have MY OWN friends also. I think this stems from how we were brought up. His parents pretty much hang out together, or with other couples. My parents lived very seperate lives most of the time. They were either with their own social circles or together alone. My dad went on guy trips (fishing, camping) without my mom, and my mom went on trips (shopping, spa weekends) without my dad. They went on trips together also, but not every trip. J’s parents are ALWAYS together. Never take trips alone. Never do anything alone.
—- Friendships? Marriage? Can the two co-exist? Do you ladies have girlfriends that aren’t married to your hubby/SO’s guy friends? Do you mostly hang out with other couples? I’m not quite sure how this is supposed to work…
Too much time together? J and I are currently in a LDR while he is finishing up work at a company about 10 hours away. He’ll be home in December. I was talking to J on the phone last night about our favorite TV shows. I said something about how its a good thing we will have a TV in the bedroom and living room, so I can watch Gossip Girl while he watches Man Vs.Wild. We have pretty opposite taste in most things. 🙂 And he said, “No, we’d watch one show together, and DVR the other one. Probably DVR your show, since you’ll be home more than me. Since I work all day, I want to spend any time I can with you.” Cute, but WHAT?! I’m supposed to sit through a nature-y show that I hate (Swamp People, Man Vs. Wild, River Monsters, etc…) while a show that I actually want to watch is on? And then find time to watch my show later? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED AT THE HIP J! LET ME WATCH MY OWN DAMN TV SHOW! (saying that in my head, hah.) Right now he tends to get miffed if we’re watching one of his shows and I’m on Facebook, or something. Because we’re supposed to be spending time together. I don’t want to watch your show.
And what about if I want to go out to dinner or drinks with my friends? Must I spend every second with you?
—-So Bees, do you always hang out with your SO? Is this some requirement of marriage? The TV thing is one example, but do you go out to dinner with your own friends? Do you guys enjoy seperate activities (even if it’s you in bed reading a book and him watching Sports Center?) Or is this totally a puppy love thing and you grow up and learn to live your own lives but together? Or is it just something that J grew up watching his parents do?
Ahh, sorry this is so long, but I’m kinda worrying that marriage is going to be like being a siamese twin with J. I’m still my own person, right?