(Closed) Friendships – when to let go?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

For me, I get rid of friends quite easily. But only if they have done something directly or indirectly to actually betray me. It takes me a long time to make friends, but I will absolutely not tolerate repetative acts of betrayal. Of couse, I always give people second chances. But third and forth ones, is where I draw the line.

In your case, I would not ennd the friendship. Friendships should be able to oversome things like what you have described. A friendship is relationship, ups and downs. And this particular relationship doesn’t seem to have anything irrepairable. Especially since you have been friends for so long. Talk to her directly about your feelings, and go from there.

Also, I ended a friendship with my BEST friend abouta year ago, and honestly, some days I still regret it. Although, I do know it is what was best. So don;t make any rash decsions you might regret. Good friends are hard to come by.

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t think you have to make a decision.  You can just let it take its course and see where it falls naturally.  Also, it could just be the friendship is changing.  I have a friend whom I love dearly but we hear from each other maybe 1x or 2x a year and we don’t talk on the phone.  If ever she is in the area visiting family we will meet up but it’s just as much of a friendship as those I see all the time.  I would say let it take it’s course and don’t make anything forced.  If you want to see her, call her, otherwise wait and hear from her.

Post # 5
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

We’ve all been there. The ‘slowly drifting away’ friend that ends up being a friend you chat with 6 times a year and not even see as often. I have a friend like that. I tried and tried and tried and then I gave up. We are still friends but not as close as we used to be. It was really painful because we were very close but you know what? I survived and so did she. I won’t lie, I was a bit hurt by her attitude in not putting any effort in keeping our friendship going at the closeness level we used to enjoy. And honestly, there wasn’t a big blowout but as I wrote earlier, just a slight drifting apart that turned into us being more acquaintances than close friends 🙁

Post # 6
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think if this friendship is valuable to you, you should keep the lines of communication open. Act like you used to act toward her; it might be hard if she’s not reciprocating, but it seems like what she probably needs is reassurance that the friendship hasn’t changed, and that she hasn’t lost her importance to you. Try and be open to seat-of-the-pants plans with her. If that’s how she does things, give her a call when you’re going shopping and stuff. No harm if she doesn’t go, since you had to do it anyway, and you won’t have to feel like you’re arranging things around her.

It’s really frustrating to deal with people that just won’t respond. If someone talks, even if it’s arguing, you can try and get your message through, but when it’s just silence, there’s really nothing you can do except keep being friendly to the wall they’ve built and hope the person hurtiing inside can see you still care.

And sometimes no matter what you do, it doesn’t work, and you start to resent always being the one to call, always being the one to make plans, always being the one to keep it alive. And then it’s time to let it sink into oblivion.

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