- Wedding: June 2007 - City, State
#3 was the easiest transition. I’m about to have #4 and I’m unphased. All my kids are 3+ years apart. #3 is the kid who actually taught me how to chill as a mom. Good enough is good enough, and comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t compare your life to everyone else’s.
My biggest challenge was my oldest child and she still is. She drives me bananas. She will be 10 in March. She was always difficult and needed constant entertainment and had terrible mood swings. A lot of this was food allergies and she has ADHD we just found out. Once she went to school full time at age 5 life was much easier.
Motherhood is not easy but it’s also what you make of it. If you are constantly worrying about how you look as a mom to others, or being perfect, or your kids being perfect, you’re gonna have a bad time. I was much happier and better as a mother, and as a person, and as a wife, after I got off social media, specifically Facebook. It is terrible for your mental health and your self esteem.
My biggest challenge as a mom is their food allergies and most of my time, I swear, is devoted to that. Researching and cooking everything from scratch. Sometimes I wish I could just order dominos.
But you know, they learned to chill when I stopped being a basket case. Perfection is not attainable. And yours are little right now, but once they are like, 4 or 5, they can learn to wait 20 minutes so mom can have a cup of hot coffee. I think that is the biggest mistake we make as mothers. Like, no, little human, I am eating, you have been taken care of, and you can wait for a few minutes. My 2 oldest kids get up in the morning by themselves on non school days and get themselves a drink and breakfast and watch TV or hang out on their tablets. I get up at 8 or 830 with my 3 year old. Then I come downstairs and ask what everyone has had, if they need anything, and I take care of them before I sit down and have a cup of coffee. On school days it is different because I get them up and have to do school lunches and snacks and hair etc. Overall, my life is very low stress. If they are sick or need something they wake me up, but otherwise they sleep very well, in their own beds, and they know that mom is a person too. My biggest advice is to create boundaries with your kids. I tell them all 100 times a day I love them and they are my most important thing in life. But nope, I’m still drinking this cup of coffee, and no, you can’t sleep in my bed. Seriously as I was writing this, my 10 year old asked for lunch twice. I have told her 1230 and I’m trying to make myself something to eat for the first time today. YOU CAN WAIT UNTIL 1230.
All that said, if I was not a stay at home mom, I would only have 2 max. Daycare and a career complicate things and make them more expensive.