(Closed) from dating to waiting

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was soon to be graduating from college, and had to start making some big decisions. I didn’t feel comfortable moving without some certainty of the our future relationship.

Post # 4
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

Umm i reached a point where i decided i was ready for that kind of committment with him over a year ago. I also remember seeing rings and starting to seriously look.  Before i didnt pay much attention. My friend tried to force me to look at rings and i just wasnt into it 2 years ago 

But then i would say i have only been actively and seriusly waiting to the point that i’ve researched rings alot and dresses and stuff for like 4-5ish months.  Which was triggered when he slyly asked if i liked a style of ring in a magazine and then made me try on rings in November. 

So there are almost like phases to waiting.  Early waiting is easy, you think about it and you would be ready if it happend but it doesnt bug you much. Active waiting means, you think he has taken a serious step to propose and you are going crazy being patient.

Post # 5
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Good question.  I guess we had been together long enough and discussed things (seriously) enough times that we both agreed we were comfortable with moving to the next step in our relationship.  Although he certainly took his sweet time stretching the waiting period out.

Post # 6
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We went to some weddings and he started saying the “when” statements that I would always correct myself on. Just a move from “if” to “when”

Post # 7
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada ♥ EDD- April 2016

I think we stopped ‘dating’ and I started ‘waiting’ when we first moved in together about 2 years into our relationship. After we got used to living together it felt like we should be something more than boyfriend and girlfriend (:

Post # 8
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’ve been dating (LDR) for 1.5 years.  We went from “dating” to “waiting” when the SO talked about saving for a house and then, he asked me what my “hypothetical dream ring” looks like.  Plus, a little birdie told me my SO told her what the ring looks like. (She reminded me again last night!)  Boo.  Now, I’m waiting and obssessing like a crazy person.

Post # 9
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We are moving in together this weekend and I (thanks to this site) have looked at rings enough to know I have found my dream one. So I am now a waiting bee, but not actively. I would say I am in the early waiting. I am ready and want it to happen but I am very happy to wait.

Post # 10
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I definitely went into the “waiting” period when we moved in together.  We’d been together in a semi-long distance relationship for about 3.5 years at that point, so before that it was a waiting period to move in!  I’m hoping/pretty sure this waiting period won’t be as long as the previous one…

Post # 11
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We started talking about getting married, and he borrowed a book from one of his friends (a “questions to ask before you get engaged” kind of book.  It didn’t really fit us as it was very religious but we were still able to get some use out of the questions and bond over it).  He gave me the impression that we would get engaged before I moved away (currently in an LDR) but he didn’t ask.  So now I’m waiting.  🙁

Post # 12
Member
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Pretty much the same as love108.  The summer before my last year of school/his first year of law school, we had a discussion about what would happen after my graduation.  I ‘settled’ on moving in with him w/o an e-ring because I trusted him when he said he’d properly propose to me as soon as he could (also I didn’t want to just bum off my parents!)  I guess that’s when the waiting started, though I had sort of ‘waited’ previously and been let down, which made it feel a little more torturous than it really was.

Post # 14
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I think my waiting started when we finally had the conversation about what we wanted for the future. Before that, I was already on here, because we had been together so long and had been using the “when” (instead of “if”) language about our future together for quite some time, but I guess I started officially waiting after we went and started looking for rings 🙂

Post # 15
Member
335 posts
Helper bee

@juliejaye: Yeah, that’s true. For me I think I need to live with someone to actually BE engaged, but I couldn’t take the step to live with someone unless we both felt we were very likely headed toward marriage. But it’s tricky, and different people view it differently, from not comfortable living with someone until after engagement or marriage, to being okay living with someone without talking or thinking about marriage at all.

Post # 16
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

When he brought it up after several months after I moved in with him, about how he had wanted to do it 6 months after we moved in together, and wanted to let me know that it wasn’t going to happen as he would have liked, but it was becuase of money and not because he didn’t want it to happen, and how he didn’t want me getting upset or frustrated about it. 🙂 Plus after going to several weddings, him always saying at our wedding…. Its been 7 months since we moved in together…so I’m not worried about it, as long as I have him I’m happy.

I’ve been pretty quiet about it, and believe it will happen when it happens.

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