- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I will make this as short as possible…
I got engaged one month, asked the girls to be in my wedding party, and asked Jill to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. She got engaged a month later. She COMPLETELY rushed EVERYHING… she had her intire wedding planned before I had mine done. She got her dress before me. Anyway, She has been a HORRIBLE Maid/Matron of Honor, we (NOT her) collected $500 from people to reserve my bachelorette party. She did not take the money, and didn’t mention it to anyone. She almost blew it. She allowed another bridesmaid to take it over, because she appeared to be too busy planning her wedding for A YEAR LATER..(mine was 3 months from that point – and I had JUST started planning – late notice wedding)
anyway, at that point… I brought all of this up to her… that she wasn’t being a good Maid/Matron of Honor, and that I really needed her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and NOT a bride… and we were fine. she said she would work on it. it continued, and she told my bridal party that she would not have any money to help with anything besides getting her dress. (but she managed to make the deposits for her wedding) she allowed my bridal party to pay for everything FOR her – split amongst them (bridesmaid shirt, food for bachlorette party, etc) I then told her I felt the obligation of Maid/Matron of Honor was too much on her, and we agreed that she would be a bridesmaid… she has fallen through on EVERY responsibility she has gotten, so we don’t give her any anymore.
good thing I did, too. a month later, she had a pregnancy scare… she wasn’t pregnant. But she hinted that they were going to start trying (they have only been together for a year)…I didn’t believe her because she is seriously very flighty with decisions… at this point and my wedding is 2 months away… a month after that, (1 month to go to my wedding) she “accidently” got pregnant.
Now she is getting married a month after I do… they are rushing to get it done before she starts showing. (which is why I think she got pregnant – to speed up the wedding) but now…AGAIN….all I am hearing about is HER wedding, HER baby showers, etc. I was supposed to be in her wedding, but now I can’t be due to late notice and legal obligations. I havent told her yet though.
Through my intire engagement, literally…..I have stressed and cried over this. Over HER. She is the only one making this hard on me. I haven’t known her long, 3 years, but was close to her when I asked her to be Maid/Matron of Honor… she changed as soon as she got her ring.
I don’t know what to do. A little over a month to go til my wedding and I think she is one of the most immature, inconsiderate people I have ever met. I finally stopped obsessing with it…..until the pregnancy happened. It took the cake… It has been non stop drama with her.
I will say this, she does not mean to do the things she does… she does not intentionally hurt people… which is the reason she was even still in my wedding at all.
What would you do?
I do NOT mean to sound rude or inconsiderate, believe me… I’m not. I have tried to make this work… so many times. And now this…
EDIT: When she was my Maid/Matron of Honor, she told me she was sorry but was not going to be able to afford to be in my wedding. Then she changed her mind and said she would. I think she realized the dress was non refundable. Has acted like that never happened since…
I couldn’t support her marriage if I could be in it anyway… they have made horrib;e decisions that I do not agree with… she has no idea I feel this way. I have kept my mouth shut because she is in my wedding.