(Closed) Frustrated

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

Aw, I’m sorry. It’s so frustrating not even having a clue. Even though your SO seems ilke he wants to surprise you, he should be able to give you a vague timeline. My SO had given me one that it’s going to be sometime this year, for example, but only after I explained to him how I felt. Also, your SO shouldn’t be referring to you as his wife unless he has proposed/married you. He seems excited to have that, but it’s not fair to you to say that at this time. I know that if my SO did that to me, I would consider it incredibly hurtful, especially as he knows I am just dying to be his wife. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

@lisampson:  Why don’t you sit him down and tell him how important marriage is to you and ask if he’d agree to a timeline, set by him that works for you too and then if the amount of time set passes you can discuss it with him and find out why – basically it means you’ll know better where you stand

Post # 5
Member
9656 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i agree with PPs, talk about a timeline, makes you feel so much better, i was in a similar situation, not knowing if anything would happen soon (although i knew it would be several years before we get married), all i heard when i brought it up was ‘i’m not ready yet’, so after bringing it up a few more times, he gave me the timeline of this year, then the first six months of the year, then the first three months, and now we have been engaged for a month 🙂 talking to him definitely helps!

Post # 6
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

You and I are in the same boat… Only he doesn’t actually call me his wife, I would feel really awkward about that too, but he does call himself on several occasions my future husband, to which I have since decided he can no longer say until  I have a ring.

Sometimes, its really hard to handle. I can’t wait to be his wife and I wish he would just cut it with all the excuses and ask me already! So, to stop myself from going crazy I’ve been working out a lot and really working on myself, trying to stop stressing about it. I’m learning how to clean and do laundry (cooking for me is in the bag, partically why he loves me) and sew, working on a book and enjoying ME and MY TIME. You should too, it helps a lot.

Best of luck! <3

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