(Closed) FRUSTRATED!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HopingtobeeMrsV:  OMG, are we twins in different dimensions?  SO and I visited a venue yesterday (sans ring)!  He said he loves it, he loved the guy, and we should get married there.  I’m a bit more hesitant bc WE AREN’T ENGAGED.  We have a couple dates in mind- May 2013 and May/September 2014.  I brought up engagement bc if it doesn’t happen tomorrow, May 2013 isn’t going to be enough time to plan a wedding.  He just freaks out and says he is doing everything he can and it will happen soon. 

What are the dates you are looking at?  Is there a chance those dates will be booked really soon?  If not, then I would put my foot down and say that you aren’t booking a venue until you are officially engaged. If it is around the corner, you may have to book it to make sure you get your day.

Obviously this man wants to marry you.  You need not concern yourself with that.  And you guys are prepared and that will be so helpful while wedding planning.  Maybe he shuts down when you talk about engagements because it is very soon and he doesn’t want to ruin the surprise?  Do you know if he has a ring yet? 

I know it’s frustrating… that’s what WB is for!!  You are not alone.

Post # 4
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

I am right there with you! I am also frustrated! Its hard when you have that sort of relationship and really want to take it to the next level! Hopefully it happens for you soon! πŸ™‚

Post # 5
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If I were you, I would have refused to go to the venue until after he proposes.

Post # 6
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ladies, if you’re planning a wedding with your SO?  You’re engaged.  Fancy proposal or not.

Post # 10
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

a hint is a hint is a hint, I say…

Post # 11
Member
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Stop talking about weddings, and don’t do any more planning. I fell into that trap. lol. Stop asking him about rings, stop talking about proposals. never mention anything wedding-y in front of him again. 

Post # 12
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HopingtobeeMrsV:  I think you are doing a good job holding your ground when you said that unless he proposes tomorrow a 2013 wedding isn’t happening. That’s just being practical and realistic. Weddings take a lot of time and money!  I had a similar discussion with SO last night/ this morning.  If they want to get married in 2013, they should have proposed sooner. It’s just too stressful!  

I helped pick a ring too! Lol. Except it will take 8-12 weeks to make it after it is ordered and he hasn’t ordered it yet. Two weeks from Black Friday will be here before you know it!! 

Looking at venues is really fun and I can’t wait to share everything with my family and friends!! My sister knows, but only bc she is engaged and we are discussing dates together (lots of Out of Town guests!) until everything is official and public, I do feel like I’m hiding something. That kind of taints the whole experience a bit. Hopefully we will both be officially engaged soon so we can shout it from the rooftops!! Until then, be strong!! Mucho <3 

PS last time I checked, I am not engaged until 1. A man asks for my hand in marriage AND 2. I accept the proposal. 

Post # 14
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I totally understand where you;re coming from! It’s like sometimes guys don’t realize how much time we need to be able to plan something wonderful, and not get stressed by lack of time. However… The Mister and I are not engaged yet (should be happening within the next few weeks though, I believe) but since we know we are getting married next summer, he gave me permission to do any of the planning I want to do now even without the ring. And since I know he has the ring and that it is cmoing, and he makes me so confident in our relationship, I have done just that! So if you are comfortable wth it (and I know not everyone would be) I would say start planning, if you are both on the same page for the 2013 wedding.

Here it is, almost November 2012, and my mister and I are planning a wedding for May 2013. In fact, we already have the date, the venue, the dress has been chosen, Ive already done some diy projects… Its fun for me, and keeps me from feeling too antsy because we both know its coming and soon πŸ™‚ So I would say, talk to your soon to be fiance, and see whether he wants to make a 2013 wedding work or not! Then you can move forward from there. Best of luck hun, I know its kinda stressful waiting.

Post # 15
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@future_mrs_s:  If you have a wedding date and are planning, you’re engaged.  Congratulations!

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