(Closed) Frustrated

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
8665 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Are you on BC?

Post # 3
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Lots of couples use 2 forms of birth control protection. If these 2 forms are not working for you, what about suggesting 2 other forms?

Post # 4
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with PP – are you on BC? I was on BC and Darling Husband uses a condom. I went off BC only because it was screwing up my emotions and I had zero libido. I need to go in and have my doctor prescribe a new kind, but I haven’t had time. We’re not ready for kids, but we’re not really worried about the condom failing. In your case I might talk to my doctor about BC if you haven’t already.

Post # 5
12 posts
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Villa de l'Amour

Hopefully you have discussed your concerns with him because bottling them up is never good. Assuming the two of you have discussed this, perhaps he could accompany you to your bext doctor visit so his anxieties can be put to rest. The doctor will give you both great tips on following an ovulation calendar and perhaps alternative birth control methods. Good luck to the both of you.

  • This reply was modified 4 years ago by  Gborochick.
Post # 6
1984 posts
Buzzing bee

Might I suggest you stay charting? Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It will help you understand when you can and can’t get pregnant during your cycle. Have him read it too if you think it will help.

Post # 8
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Emjayemjay:  Well, I know my hubby would ‘listen up’ to my concerns if he ever knew that I was not enjoying sex due to his paranoia, which sounds to be the case.  I would not belittle him in my approach by telling him how his prevention methods are middle-schoolish, because that would also NOT work for him.

Honestly, if he knows you are on the same page as him about not having children, then open up a discussion on ways you can compromise on being careful, and having fun.  This is how my hubby and I proceed, and I find it has worked for many years until we are TTC.  I chart via an online app (and have been for years), so I have gotten to know my body, and my high fertile days, etc.  On those 7 days, we use condoms, no ifs/ands/or buts.  Condoms are extremely preventative, if used properly, which we do.  If you are unsure, or he is, then pull out those days as well!  The other times of the month, not only do we pretty much use condoms, but he always always always pulls out!  

He has trusted me in telling him ‘let’s overly protect ourselves’, knowing if/when I was fertile, and I have trusted him to always pull out.  He has supported my decision to not be on hormonal bc because I had been on it for many many years, and was ready to let my body run its own course.  

Communication and trust has kept us child-free for now, and has allowed us to have a nice/fun/non-anxious sex life too!  You just need to be a little patient with him, and show him you are absolutely on the same page, etc.

Post # 9
1612 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’m the paranoid one in my relationship. I really don’t want to get pregnant before we got married and we did have a scare. After the wedding all bets are off with that and we’ll be TTC. I suggest getting to know your cycle and when your danger zone of getting pregnant is. Then just don’t have sex at all at that time even with a condom. He may need an education about your cycle as well and just how hard it can be to get pregnant.

Post # 10
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Emjayemjay:  Maybe you can track your temps (read Taking Charge of You Fertility), then during the safe times he can still use the condom, but he won’t have to pull out. 

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