Post # 1
i dont know where to start. actually i have already started but i don’t know where to go from here. i can’t seem to bring down my guest list numbers. i have only looked at two places-i know what my budget is but no where seems to have my numbers- everything is just so expensive. i flip flop between having a big wedding or a small wedding. everyday seems to bring another question. i try to talk to my people about the wedding but all i get are the standard “oh you have more than a year until your wedding, why are you planning now?” i know i have that amount of time but seriously, i’m going to need all of it if people aren’t gonna get behind me. and it’s not like it is just co-workers and that- it’s my sister-WHO IS MY MOH!!!! she doesn’t like certain things about the places we pick. and i know that it is my day but honestly she can be a tad bit intimidating. (she is my big sis.)i know that i need to decide how big i want my wedding but i can’t even seem to make that decision!!!!! ugh. i normally don’t make a big deal out of anything but this is smy wedding!!! and i can’t even decide on what i want.
Post # 3
My advice to you would be to just breathe and think about your options. You can either…
1) Have a larger wedding and possibly have to tone down other aspects of the evening in order to afford it
2) Have it be a more intimate wedding (which there is nothing wrong with that) and not have to stress so much about money
Starting to plan a year in advance is exactly when you need to begin. But I highly recommend that you choose a route that will keep you financially secure. Stressing about money is the worst part about weddings sometimes and you will most definitely feel worse and worse as time goes on if you can only constantly stress about how you will make the bills.
As for your sis, maybe take her opinions into account but always remember that it is YOUR wedding. Family opinions are likely to come in throughout the planning process, but you just have to be able to stay focused on what you and your future hubby want. If they don’t like it, oh well…
Post # 4
Our guest list ended up being dictated by the venue we chose – there really wasn’t room for more than 100 people if we wanted a dancefloor (which I did). It was hard to cut the guest list down but at the end of the day we ended up with less than 90 people and it was a really good number for us. Enough that it felt like a real party but not so much that we didn’t get to talk to everyone 🙂 It definitely helped with the budget to know that we had a firm limit on numbers, otherwise it would have been tempting to invite lots more people (I have a big extended family, most of whom were not invited).
Try to talk to people who are really supportive – it can be hard to get excited about someone else’s wedding when it’s over a year away, but I’m sure you will find someone. I had a group of girlfriends who were great for this! Focus on what you and your Fiance want and it will come together. Good luck!
Post # 5
What I would suggest is writing down everyone you could possibly want to invite, and then start ranking them in order of how badly you want them. Then pick a venue, and whatever’s the max capacity of the venue determines how many people you invite off the top of your list.
Another tactic is to make some rules like “first cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents only” or “coworkers but not their kids” or etc. That way you won’t feel bad cutting people out of the guest list since you did that for everyone else in their category.
Also, if your sister is being a little intimidating and frustrating while picking out a venue, perhaps you should go venue-shopping with someone else! I went with my Fiance only, and informed my family afterward what place we picked.
Post # 6
Thank you guys so much for your help… i took the deep breath. and i figured out that if i wasn’t gonna go into this clear headed and clear hearted then i had to stop. So i took a week off and things are looking better. Since my mom and dad are helping to pay i’m taking them and my guy to look at venues. And if we like one i am going to get it-no matter what is said about it by anyone else. Now… On to dresses!!!
Post # 7
That is the spirit! Don’t be disheartened by the whole you have an entire year talk, people often don’t understand how much goes into planning a wedding until they get started themselves. You will be fine.