(Closed) frustrated and alone!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry. I hope it gets better.


Post # 5
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

HUGS! That does sound frustrating! Especially Fiance telling you to do it, then not liking it and providing  no other option. That would infuriate me!

I felt like this sometimes as well. It can be very overwhelming. Everything worked out in the end though. And believe me, I’m disorganized and a procrastinator so if I can do it-you can do it.

I’m sorry that I have no real advice. On a side note though, I don’t think I would have had my Maid/Matron of Honor calling the caterer. I just felt that was something I should be doing. But she shouldn’t be putting down all of your decisions. It sounds like she is being anything but helpful. I hope things get better. Just try and remember that this is just one day. In the end all that matters is that you marry the love of your life. Perhaps this perspective only happens after the wedding though because I know how stressed I was lol.

Post # 6
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Awww big hugs!! This was me yesterday. My Fiance is in England (due to lack of internet and family issues we just mainly text and only talk once a week) and won’t be here till 3 weeks before the wedding. The only difference he tells me he like everything and really gives me no input. Which really is no help, but at least there isn’t the frustration of negative input. We did get our rings on his last visit too. I was very overwhelmed with everything and only two months to go.  I used to have someone helping but she just kinda quit one day.

As for their opinions maybe quit asking? I had some negative “helpers” and then just had to quit asking. Or some I take with a grain of salt. I had a long talk with a few people yesterday and told them how I felt and what my issues where. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister and lives across the country so she is trying to help with what she can. My mom is also jumping on board with some new great ideas. I also got so much support from everyone here. I took the night off last night and feel better today.

I say do what you want if they are not helping you. But that is me and what I am doing. I was going to go insane waiting for him to help me. You can PM me if you need help. I feel you pain.

Post # 7
2050 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Dec-bride: I’m so very sorry. It sounds like your Fiance and Maid/Matron of Honor are preoccupied with whatever is going on for them individually. Understood, but frustrating nonetheless.

Alright, I think it is time for you to take the reigns yourself and don’t look back. Full speed ahead! Trust yourself and your decisions and if so-and-so complains that it isn’t to their liking? TOO BAD. They had their chance to lend their input and now it is too late. (Not trying to be a meanie poo here, but just saying don’t let them bring you down on a decision YOU made because YOU had to!) You might even go so far as to discuss it once through with Fiance as in:

You: “Hey what flowers do you like?”

Fiance: “I dunno, you decide.”

You: “Okay, I’ll choose them.”

And then don’t tell him what you chose. Just choose it and only if he asks later, share. Same for your Maid/Matron of Honor and whatever you asked her opinion on to start. Don’t give them the chance to say, “Aww, but I don’t like it… .” on a silver platter. Why serve up such annoyance? Just do it and only if they ask you, follow up in sharing your decision.

Then, ask your vendors for their professional opinions on things if you need further assistance — that is what you are paying them for.

If you need other advice, the Bee is here for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck!

Post # 8
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know how you feel. Fiance goes with to look at places, but I do most of the deciding and the planning. Then, when I’m already set and working something out, he decides he doesn’t like it, and I have to start all over, but he still won’t give me any input.

I hope things get better : )

Post # 10
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Dec-bride: I am so sorry that you are going through this and you feel this way. I had a similar situation. However, my Fiance was not overseas. We were living together and he had NO opinions. The only thing that was on his list was to get his and his Groomsmen outfits. That was done the week before the wedding! I think that most men are just not planners. I was ok with it. I asked him why he was not more involved and he just said that it is too stressful for him. he said we could get a DOC or a wedding planner but I wanted to stick to my budget. What really pissed me off was my Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man situation. NO one cared, literally. They were my sisters and they sucked. They only lived an hour away but hardly did anything. 

I love your last post. That is kind of the attitude that you have to have in your situation. Good luck and I wish you the best

Oh, By The Way, my wedding turned out amazing and better than I imagined! I have a feeling yours will too!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€ Feel free to PM me if you ever just want to vent or want to toss some ideas around with someone!

Post # 11
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

OP, I’m sorry you feel this way. I don’t have any real advice, but I have been through similar situations throughout my wedding planning and I have realized that if I don’t personally do it myself it either doesn’t get done right or it doesn’t get done at all. Just breathe and make a list of what needs to be done in order of importance.

What we as brides forget sometimes is that our MOH’s and/or bridal party has more going on in their lives than just our wedding. Even though our wedding (to us) is the top priority in life at the moment. I would give your Maid/Matron of Honor the benefit of the doubt….she may be feeling overwhelmed by helping with the wedding plans as much as you are.

Hang in there….I know how you feel! <hugs>

Post # 12
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That sucks! I know if I got that much negative responses I would just throw my hands up and say forget it – we’re eloping!

As some people have said, I recommend seeking their opinions less. Make a decision, and if they can’t make a better suggestion then just stick with it. For example if he doesn’t like the flowers, just tell him that the florist’s deadline is x date so you’d absolutely love to hear his suggestions but if he doesn’t suggest something by the florist’s deadline then you’re going with your choice.

And it’s just one day so don’t let stress get to you! It’s not the material things that make a wedding perfect, it’s the union between two people in love!

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