Member- confusedfrustratedbride
- 9 years ago
Thought this would be the best website to get things off my chest and have people weigh in on how to handle this situation (if I even can!!!).
My Fiance and I have been engaged for almost 3 months and yet the only people who seem to have acknowledged that we are engaged are my friends, FB friends, my dad, my sister, and my grandma. Everyone else is completely going about life as if it never happened (no problem there but let me finish). No one has asked about our wedding plans except the people I just mentioned above.
This means that yes, my FI’s family refuse to acknowledge it. His mom did not “like” the engagement ring picture on FB (which sort of bothered me but at the same time did not) and she did call me a FEW days after it happened to congratulate me. She asked to see the ring in person one day but that was it. That was the extent of her acknowledgement. Nothing since then.
My mom and I had a HUGE argument a week after the engagement about how she does not even seem happy for me. She said that she is but she has nothing to contribute (financially) so she does not think she should even bother asking about it or being a part of it. It hurt my feelings so bad because I told her I don’t care about her money but I want her to be genuinely interested. We did not talk for almost a week and then when we finally did, we just pretended that nothing really happened. Since then, she has still not asked about anything.
My FI’s dad has not even said ANYTHING AT ALL. I have seen him many times in the past 3 months but he has not said one thing.
I have been planning the wedding pretty much by myself, asking my FI’s opinion on things (which he happily gives me). However, another thing that bothers me is that he also does not bring it up unless I do!!!
Here are some other examples of other incidents that frustrated the heck out of me:
– I asked my Fiance if we could go to a craft’s store. Of course, he happily went with me.. We walked around, looked at wedding stuff. His mom called when we were leaving the store and obviously asked what he was doing. He said “We just left the craft’s store” and the mom asked “What were you doing there?” and he said “Oh, just looked around…” instead of what I thought he could’ve said, which was “We were looking at wedding stuff.”
– I was with FI’s mom one time and someone who was part of the group and didn’t know me asked “Are you married?” and I simply said “No…” and I was thinking maybe this would be a good time for FI’s mom to say “But she is engaged to my son!” but nope, nothing.
Okay, so my Fiance and I have been together for almost 7 years – since after high school. We have had our ups and downs. His parents are divorced. My parents are divorced.
With my family, I know that people just aren’t in a celebratory mood about weddings because no one in my family has ever had a successful marriage. My grandparents are divorced. My grandparents remarried and one of them is divorced again (but it’s my grandma and she seems happy for us!). My own grandpa has not said anything to me yet he’s on FB and I’m sure has seen my relationship change. My aunt is unhappy in her marriage so no happiness for me there.
I think his family still has reservations about me after all these years. My Fiance is also the only child.
I don’t know… This is just sad and I feel like with very unsupportive family, our wedding will just be a disaster 🙁
