Post # 1
Argh. So I was talking to Boyfriend or Best Friend last night about this cognitive dissonance I have between the fact that Boyfriend or Best Friend and I know we’re getting engaged in the next 6 months, its just a matter of getting far enough in our relationship that we’re comfortable and our parents are comfortable with how long we have been dating, pretty much. I was saying that its nice not having to wonder if we’re on the same page, but at the same time I am a “White Wedding” girl and I want a proposal story.
Since we started talking about this Boyfriend or Best Friend has joked that he’s going to surprise me by kicking down the door to the bathroom while I’m in there on the toilet and proposing then. Haha, this was funny the first 20 times you told me this, but that was not funny when I was telling you about the cognitive dissonance I was having last night. After he said this a couple of times I finally said “well you know if you do that I will say ‘NO’ right?” He finally said “well I guess I can’t do that anyway since that surprise is already ruined, I guess I’ll have to think of something else.” This was only after I told him how frustrated that made me, sigh.
I guess there’s two things I’m frustrated with — the joking but then the cognitive dissonance generally. Why isn’t it okay with me to just decide together on a day that we’re engaged? Why is it important to me that he plan something for a proposal and ask me when we already know we’re going to get engaged and when we’ll likely be picking out and paying for the ring together? Why is it important to me to have a story I can tell my mom and my girlfriends about how romantic Boyfriend or Best Friend is?
Its the same thing with the ring. I’m trying to convince myself that Moissy is fine, that spending that much on a diamond is overrated…but it’s important to me to know its “real” (don’t ping me I know moissy is real, but this is my internal thought process), that I deserve “the best.”
Anyone else feel like this?
Sorry for the long rant 🙂
Post # 3
ok a bathroom proposal is not a real proposal. I completely understand what you mean, my SO teases me about the whole thing but I know deep down he’s coming up with a wonderful plan to surprise me and propose. And as far as the ring goes, you could also look into Gemstones 🙂 a friend of mine got a beautiful sapphire in her engagement ring, which opened my eyes to the world of color (and alot of them are cheaper than diamonds and still good quality) and I am waiting on a gorgeous tanzanite heart 🙂
Post # 4
I know EXACTLY how you feel! Well, that’s a lie, THANKFULLY my Boyfriend or Best Friend fully understands the idea of a big proposal – I think it has something to do with the fact that we were both really active in theatre in high school and have a flair for the dramatic. Buuuuut as far as the moissy, I totally understand. I want the ring. I want the proposal. I want the story. I want the wedding. And I’ve read all the articiles about the “diamond invention” and how our obsession with diamond engagement rings in the US (and Japan) is a HUGE marketing ploy. I know diamonds aren’t scarce at all and the pricing is all based on fake scarcity create by De Beers. I know alllll about the unethical issues – blood diamonds, etc. Buuuuuut…there’s still something to be said for “the real thing”. We’re still looking at settings, and my Boyfriend or Best Friend won’t have his money moved around and sorted out for buying the ring until April/May, so I have some time. I really want to get on board with moissanite, but we’ll see…
Post # 5
Woops, double post – sorry!
Post # 6
“Why is it important to me that he plan something for a proposal and ask me when we already know we’re going to get engaged and when we’ll likely be picking out and paying for the ring together?”
Because asking someone to spend the rest of their life with you is not a simple thing. It is an act which deserves some ceremony. The traditional ceremony is the proposal; something thought out and sweet, something akin to the largeness of the question itself.
Why is singing happy birthday, wearing black to a funeral, Christmas trees or gradation ceremonies important? Why is getting on stage in a hired funny looking outfit, shaking hands with someone we’ve probably never met and getting a fake piece of paper (we got ours later) so important to us? Yet you rarely hear someone question another for wanting to attend their graduation.
People sometimes forget that weddings and engagements are traditions just as those above because of the “bridezilla” tag. It’s ok to want to have a romantic proposal; it’s also ok to not want it, just as sometimes we are requested to wear bright coloured clothes to a funeral.
And it’s ok to want a diamond; some people are just drawn to different types of stones. You like diamonds, simple. 🙂
Post # 7
I know what you mean! Boyfriend or Best Friend keeps making jokes about awful proposals ALL THE TIME! He was joking that he had planned this sumer cheezy with a side of extra cheese proposal at Disney (we went there in December). And I am sooooo not a Disney Proposal girl (if you are, that’s fine, it is just not my thing AT ALL).