(Closed) Frustrated Bride to Be

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh, I’m sorry your FH isn’t into planning with you. What about you picking the ushers and just having him ok them? That’ll make it easier on him because it sounds like he really can’t choose between his step brothers and it’ll ease your mind because a decision will have been made. Maybe you need to speak to him again about his involvement in the planning?

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe you just need to set aside a time & have a frank discussion/planning session.  You should definitely tell him how you are feeling….and you both have to agree that at the meeting you finalize the wedding party & ushers and be done with it.  Weddings can be way too complex and stressful to be changing people…adding or subtracting, etc. 

I wouldn’t be too mad at your fiance, sometimes guys can be so clueless about stuff.  If you explain to him how you are feeling and exactly he can help you out so that you’re not overwhelmed, then he will probably step it up. 

Hope it works out! 

 

Post # 5
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

rock scissors paper!!! no seriously it may work? lol jk! Talking helps.. whenever Im frustrated with FH I approach and say.. look blah blah blah.. this affects me…. blah blah blah… and it is frustrating…. We need to work on this problem… blah blah blah..

He may not realise it. Most the time my FH doesnt realise it.. and I sit there seething until i say something!

Post # 6
Member
332 posts
Helper bee

I would just choose for him and then tell him. My Fiance has no interest in planning the wedding but Im ok with that because I know he wouldn’t enjoy it and that he would never decide on anything. It would be “I don’t care” or ” whatever you want”. Its easier to just do it yourself or with your mother or Maid/Matron of Honor then to ask your Fiance who isn’t into it. If he doesn’t like it then maybe it will force him to make a decision. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Please don’t take this wrong, but it sounds to me like maybe you need to listen to him more.  If he’s constantly bringing things up then he must be thinking about the wedding and trying to help in his own way.  As for whether his step brother should stand with him, that’s his side of the party and if he feels that his step-bro should be standing then it’s not fair to veto it.  Is it possible that he’s avoiding talking about it because he feels like he gets shut down when he tried to contribute?

Post # 9
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ooooh.  That makes more sense now.  Definitely a crappy place to be.  I’ve been (slightly) more lucky with mine, but often I still have to call the shots myself.  I’d say just go ahead and pick them.  It will save you a lot of frustration.

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