Post # 1
As bridesmaid, I need some advice. The bride just informed us, thirteen days before the wedding that she wants our hair up, in the middle of the back of our heads. I hate wearing my hair up to begin with (it is super thick, heavy, and I get a terrible headache, and my ears stick out!) and if I am going to wear it up, it is going to be in something lower, since it is slightly more comfortable. Also, I do not have a hairstylist I trust where the wedding is, and she didn’t even attempt to help make arrangements for us to have stylists, so I am doing it myself, and a lower hairstyle is going to be much easier for me to do. I am leaning towards going with what I know a) will be more comfortable and b) will look best on me, c) is diy-able and do a lower updo like this: http://www.freckled-fox.com/2012/08/hair-tutorial-gibson-tuck.html
Am I being unreasonable? She is the type who doesn’t seem to be particular about anything except the things that will be an inconvenience to other people.
Post # 3
@MrsBroker: If she wants specific styles, she pays for the stylist. Otherwise the BM’s are free to do the best they can themselves.
Post # 4
If you are DIY-ing it, do what you can successfully and comfortably. If she wanted you all to have the same hairstyle, she should have arranged for a stylists and either covered the cost or have given you plenty of time to anticipate the expense. The style you selected looks nice!
Post # 5
@MrsBroker: I would fight this tooth and nail: I have HUGE ears and do NOT wear my hair up, period.
If she’s paying for it, tell her YOU’LL pay for it if you can wear your hair how you feel most comfortable.
Just because it’s “the bride’s day” doesn’t mean her BMs comfort should go out the window. If I were having bridesmaids, I’d want them to feel gorgeous.
Post # 6
Sorry, OP. That’s terrible! I would hate for my BMs to do something they felt uncomfortable about. BMs should feel beautiful, not stuck with a hairdo they hate because their bride is obsessed with everyone matching. Friends aren’t props.
Talk to your bride, and tell her everything you’ve said. If she won’t budge, then I guess either find a way to deal with it (head held high, not sulky) or bow out – though bowing out this close to the wedding, over a hairdo, would be unkind in turn.
Post # 7
I would just wear it the way you want honestly. That is a bit of a stuffy demand to make.
Post # 8
Agree Agree Agree.
I was in a wedding once where the bride changed her mind (hair up vs down) the DAY OF. (It was hot out).
No matter what – if she isn’t paying let her know what you are feeling – let her know that it will still be ‘up’ and won’t mess with her aesthetic – but that you need something you can do on your own.
Post # 9
I’m really leaning towards just doing it. I figure if she does say anything, I’ll just tell her I did the best I could under the circumstances.
One of the girls has super short hair she can’t put up, anyways, so we’re not going to look the same.