(Closed) Frustrated Fiance… Ways To Help??

posted 6 years ago in Chicago
Post # 3
Member
5002 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Go venue shopping without him. When you find one or two you like, bring him to those to break the tie. 

Post # 4
Member
9540 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Looking for a venue was also frustrating for me in the beginning. It took me about 1.5 months to decide/find a venue.

If it were me, I would do a large part of this on my own (for me, he didn’t care either, and he really would have hated me if I dragged him all over town looking at every venue and it wouldn’t have been fun for either of us).  What I would do is go through the knot and weddingwire for their list of venues.  I literally looked at almost every venue’s website in my area.  Send a real quick email any that interest you to get their prices, etc. (I probably emailed at least 30)

I would narrow it down to 5 (at the most) based upon budget, preferences, etc, and I would go visit those.  Take him with you to visit your final choices.  Choose from there.

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I spent weeks looking through websites and narrowed my top venues down to about 10. He glanced through several websites with me and told me which ones he thought looked promising. I took my mother and my future Mother-In-Law with me for the actual visits and left him out of it. They were appreciative and excited about being involved in the planning process, way more than he would have been. When the three of us fell in love with one venue, he couldn’t argue! It also turned out to be the venue he liked the most looking through the websites. We ended up visiting 6 venues together before finding ‘the one’ and I ended up canceling the rest of our appointments for the week. We placed our deposit but he still hasn’t seen the venue yet! (we are planning this from out of town).

Post # 6
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

I can relate as I’m struggling with venue selection too.  Initially my Fiance didn’t want to be involved, then when I moved forward and selected a dream venue, he didn’t like the choice.  We’re at a standstill (just on the party – still planning to get married ๐Ÿ™‚ So I turned to the bees for help…and one lovely bee gave me the advice to outline all the options with the pros/cons and costs.  I think this advice can help any bride get more clarification ๐Ÿ™‚  So I’m planning to make my list, discuss it with my Fiance, then take a break from planning for a bit while we consider our options.

Here’s a little Hollywood perspective:  Remember the Sex & the City movie where Carrie said “I let the wedding get bigger than Big”? Don’t lose site of the meaning of the day.  I know places book up early, but taking a week off can be helpful to preserve your relationship and savor the excitment of being engaged…and be thankful you have a healthy budget to work with ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 7
Member
1691 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Idefinitely agree with PPs about looking online and by yourself or even with mom or someone you’d like to bring and find good ones first…italics wont turn off damn it…then drag him along.

Post # 8
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Definitely agree with everyone else. I did a lot of research online and contacting venues to find out pricing and availability.  Based on that I took my fiance to 3 different places and we picked from there.   Its exhasuting and stressful but exciting once you find the right place – good luck!

Post # 9
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with the other bees, definitely narrow down the list.  I showed my Fiance a list of my faves, with pricing, size, best features, locations, pictures, etc. for him to get a better feel of the locations.  We did end up looking at 8 venues in the end before choosing one.  It was a little high than I originally wanted, but we changed our approach a little after the first two.  What also made the process more fun was we made some of the site visits into a mini date night.  It was a little easier since all our locations were in the city, but a cocktail and food made the whole process more fun for him.

Post # 10
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

I agree too. You should narrow it down to a few that you like. To make it fair, you should have him check out DJ’s or musicians or something. Once he has it narrowed down to a few, you go check those out.

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