Post # 1
Having some wedding-planning blues due to uncooperative Fiance.
With about 15 months til our wedding day () I’ve been going to every bridal show imaginable and doing mounds of research on local vendors that we still need, like a photog, DJ, and limo service. We booked our venue about a month ago, and Fiance wrote the check to secure our deposit. The place is gorgeous and one of the most reasonable/affordable places in our area, due to my research of course ;).
However, Fiance, who is financially stable and can afford to pay for our wedding, is pretty much telling me that since he is writing the checks, I have to deal with the planning of the wedding. That doesn’t sound so bad, except for that every single vendor I choose and fall in love with, Fiance automatically rejects. Now don’t get me wrong, I want FI’s opinion and him to be in it with me, but every time I ask him to see a great vendor, he won’t come with me or says ‘no’.
I just don’t know how to cope with Fiance not helping at all, but throwing it in my face that he’s paying for it. (I’ll also be helping pay for the wedding as much as I can, but I’m a student with a part-time job, so my help will be limited). Please help me 🙁
Post # 3
What are his reasons for rejecting them? This sounds so bizarre to me….he can’t have it both ways, either he is involved in the planning or he’s not. How frustrating for you!
Post # 4
Well, his reasons for rejecting are pretty much monetary reasons. However, I have done my research to find the best, most reasonably priced vendors and he still thinks they’re too much money. Whenever I have extra cash, I drop it off at our venue to lower the cost in the long run for him, as I plan to do with the other vendors we choose. I’m so frustrated. I had a Bridezilla moment and just screamed at him because I can’t take it anymore. I want to have fun and enjoy planning, but Fiance is making it so difficult 🙁
Post # 5
I’d give him three “choices” – your top vendor choice and two vendors who are priced far higher than the vendor you want. That way, how can he say no to the vendors you want as their prices will be lower? Devious but you’ll save your sanity!
Post # 6
I think it sounds like you two need to sit down and have a serious discussion about budget. I think if you were on the same page as far as budget there would be less back and forth. I think you should break the budget down by area as in $400 for flowers or whatever and then you can move forward with plans.
Post # 7
Sit down w/him and prepare a total budget. Then try to divide the budget into percentages. Ask him how he feels about moving figures around, but staying in the proposed budget.
Look at all the planning as FUN. Enjoy the process. Do it with a friend. Go looking around. At least he’s willing to pay for it. Some men just don’t get into this kind of stuff.
Ask him what is important to him. Cigar bar? Open bar? Steak? DJ vs band?
Then work within those parameters and the budget.
Keep in touch and let us know how it’s going!!
Post # 8
@BanditGirl: I agree. Men sometimes want to make the decisions so let him. Something like, “okay I have narrowed down to 3 limo services (insert brief summary and prices for each). Which one do you want to use, honey?” Mention that one of them is the best price in the area, but you will be with out this this and this, but it is still a good deal. If he thinks you are sacrificing something for one that is more affordable, he will most likely appreciate that. Good luck, hang in there