(Closed) Frustrated! Less money does NOT make me less bride!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Try not to take it personally… a lot of wedding vendors act like this even if they are charging you up the wazoo and it has nothing to do with the discount. Still, I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! So irritating.

Post # 4
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think in this instance, the problem isn’t that she is ignoring you because your on a budget, I think she may be acting this way because she is a family friend. I’ve heard horror stories of hiring family friends and sometimes, because of that connection they feel like they are doing you a favor instead of being 100% professional like they would be with strangers.

Would if be possible to talk to your aunt & explain to her how your feeling, and then have her relay a little message to her friend?

Post # 6
683 posts
Busy bee

Are you asking for Champagne on a Beer budget? Maybe that’s why you’re inadvertantly annoying her- totally not your fault,  I mean how are you supposed to know what’s cheap vs. expensive?

I did flowers for a friend’s budget wedding, (i hate that term, sorry.) She wanted every expensive flower under the sun, which in turn made my job harder.

Maybe you can just touch base with her in person and smooth things over?

Post # 7
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

i have felt that before with planning, also.  If vendors scoff when you ask for a gown that’s under $1000, that’s one less $1000 that they’ll have to pay their bills because if were me, I have went elsewhere.  I would ask your aunt her opinion, but if you want to avoid any hassles, just do it yourself. 

Post # 8
355 posts
Helper bee

i have a very tight budget in some areas too, but am finding REGARDLESS of how much we are spending that after we signed on the dotted line, that our service from some vendors has been terrible! for example, i emailed my caterer back in july about amounts of liquor i needed to buy and have heard nothing. i often call/email my hotel coordinator and get no response. if you get bad vibes from her- work around her as much as possible! people seem to promise the world with no intentions of following through and it is annoying! i’m feeling your pain! trust me.

Post # 9
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I distinctly remember trying on wedding dresses at Bryan’s Bride here in Vancouver, and the saleswoman was a complete cow to me the minute she found out I wanted a lace dress for under $1000, ideally less. She cut me off mid-sentence, saying “You will NEVER find lace for that price – you better look in the DESTINATION (said with much disdain) section”. I walked out of that store and didn’t go back. I ended up finding a beautiful lace dress at another store that treated me like a queen, regardless of my small budget. I got the dress I wanted for $600, and no alterations were required.

My aunt is also doing my flowers as a favor, but she has been completely unresponsive to a lot of my emails and inquiries. I have often thought the same thing as you. If she is giving you a real hard time, I just really wouldn’t bother. Could you select some cheaper flowers from another vendor? Orchids tend to be among the most expensive wedding flowers.

Post # 10
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m with Miss. Spaniel, for some reason regardless of how much money you’re spending a lot of vendors act as if they’re doing you a favor. I think those are the spoiled vendors but karma takes care of those nasty peeps. 

Post # 11
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I’m in the thick of calling vendors right now, and some act dismissive and talk down to me because of our budget. I always thank them and move on, and so far I have always been able to find someone equally good (or better) who can work with my budget).

That said, working with family friends adds an extra level of complexity. Maybe she feels like you’re asking for a lot – orchids are pretty expensive, so maybe you are hoping to spend an unrealistically low amount on the flowers? Unfortunately, I think working with people you know at a discount always comes with the risk of issues like this, so there’s probably no way to fully fix this situation.

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