Post # 1
My Fiance and I have been LDR since we met at a wedding 15 months ago. His parents do not consider our relationship to be serious until 2 people live near each other and see eachother every day. They have made it clear that they will not support our marriage unless we were able to live together in the same city for a year first. So I have jumped through hoops to make that happen for them. I was able to get a job in NYC and I am from Toronto Canada. I quit my job got rid of my appartment and was awaiting my visa coming in. Since then the visa has been declined and the job offer pulled out. So I am not unemployed and living with my mother again for the first time in 6 years. All of this so I could appease them. Now we know that I will not be able to get into the country without us getting married shortly after his parents once again say that they are not willing to participate or be supportive. My Fiance is saying well who cares but it is really bothering me. At this point we are talking about forgoing the whole wedding thing since his parents were the ones that said they would foot the bill. My famly is not financially stable and his parents are extremly well off. Me and my Fiance can not afford a wedding. So we may now just elope. I am very upset because I have always dreamed of the perfect wedding….. now it seems I will not have it..
Post # 3
Well, a friend of mine eloped, lived with his wife two years, then had his wedding. So that the family thought they had to live together first. Mind you, they had far less compelling reasons, but it could work for you…
Post # 4
I have many friends and family members that have gotten married at a courthouse, and then had a big wedding on their first anniversary. While normally I am very pro-living together before marriage (because, coming out of a 5 year LDR – you really DONT know someone until you live near/with them – it takes a lot of adjusting), in your case, this might not be possible. Is there are way, seeing as you’re unemployed anyway, to “vaca” to the US for a few months?
Post # 5
I wish I could vacay for a few months but I dont have one penny of savings and being unemployed my Fiance is paying all of my bills right now 🙁 so we dont even have enough money to be able to see each other this month and maybe not even next month. Unless I find work soon we are really in a bind money wise
Post # 6
Is he able to move to be with you? I know it’s super hard to immigrate to the US, or even to get a green card, and have heard from a few friends who’ve gone through the process (as the result of being in American-Canadian relationships) that it’s easier to get into Canada.
Why are you the one jumping through all the hoops? 🙂
Post # 7
I’m so sorry for your troubles. I think I would consider eloping (which still might take a while to get you into the country) or having him move to Canada like DDW suggested.
Post # 8
He cant move to canada because his career keeps him in New York City. He said down the line that could be a possibility but we are talking 10 years down the line like when we have kids going to school etc. I work in service so it is much easier for me to get work anywhere then it is for him. I really am at a loss right now
Post # 9
Oh sweetie, don’t be upset! Things will work out. Just remember to breath. You can always get married on paper but still “date” or be “engaged”. The paper makes things official, yes, but until you have the wedding ceremony and reception people dont have to know.
This will allow you to enter the country, get a job in NYC, move in with him or find an apartment and most of all, appease your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law.
Post # 10
What a frustrating process! I would say make it a legal marriage and then do the party marriage when everyone is on board. It may not be your dream, but at least you can be with your Fiance.