(Closed) Frustrated over FI’s potential bachelor party

posted 11 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@UpstateCait: I think it is just rude that his brother isn’t taking his suggestions into consideration. Like super rude. I mean if he wants a private titty tease he can have it on his own time. I think maybe Fiance should just shanghai the planning and do his own thing with his friends and invite his brother along. 

Post # 4
2570 posts
Sugar bee

Let him deal with it. Its not your problem especially if your Fiance doesnt want them and you dont care that much.  

Tell him to call his brother and have  serious talk with him about it instead of passing comments. 

Its the most you can do.

The brother probably thinks your Fiance is saying that only because he is “supposed” to say that and, therefore, he thinks he is doing him a favor by going against his wishes.

Post # 5
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This happened to my husband.  His brother insisted on going to a race track when my husband repeatedly told him he didn’t want to (he is not into gambling).  When my husband told him he didn’t want to, he said, “It’s not up to you.”  My husband was pissed, but it turned out alright as they had a nice meal and he didn’t have to gamble.  However, your situation is unlikely to end as nicely!

He needs to have a serious conversation with his brother about why he does not want this party, and put his foot down.  If possible I would avoid getting involved, as I think lefeymw is right about the impression the brother will get.

Post # 6
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think this is pretty common. Guys just use the groom as an excuse to party. I wouldn’t get involved.

Post # 8
3683 posts
Sugar bee

Idk. I’d say something but that’s me and I say something about everything.

Post # 9
3134 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think your FI’s brother should take his feeling into consideration since it’s HIS wedding!

I am still waiting but we have already had this conversation believe it or not.  My bf does not even want a bachelor party because he knows his friends will get strippers/go to a strip club. That doesn’t even really bother me believe it or not as long as there are no lap dances or other grossness going on.  He says he knows his friends will buy it for him, give him a hard time, etc.  So he just doesn’t want one at all which I think is pretty sad. 

If it were up to him they would probably go camping and play paintball.

Post # 10
2570 posts
Sugar bee

This is an aside, but I have to question the friends that dont know their friend enough to know they dont want something…

My FH and his friends have all done great things for bachelor weekends. vVery little strip clubs… 

But at the end of the day its no the girls job to regulate.

Post # 11
74 posts
Worker bee

I can see why you (and your FI) would be frustrated. There are so many other things they could do that your Fiance would probably love to do.

I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to understand that not all guys are interested in strippers and that there are millions of awesome things that would be fun to do for a bachelors party that don’t involve strip clubs

Post # 12
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It sounds like his brother is being a jerk. That sucks for your Fiance. But this really is between them – I wouldn’t get involved.

Post # 13
3605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

his brother telling him that it doesn’t matter what he wants

same with my hubbys b-party, the guy who organized it did it more for himself than anyone else and i think this is quite common

as long as you and your Fiance are on the same page i would leave it to your Fiance and his brother. if its anything like my hubbys b-party there will be a group of guys up front and loud and another group of guys at the back, having a quite drink, food and catching up


Post # 14
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Bach parties that I have been around are always like this, it is more about an excuse for the friends to do what they want rather than the groom.  My FHs friends are planning to go the the girly bars, and the FH doesn’t like them (I don’t care either way), but he is under a full understanding that he will end up there.

Post # 15
748 posts
Busy bee



If my sister demanded I do something for my bachelorette party that I wasn’t into, I’d have a few choice words.

Post # 16
4590 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hubs told his friends for months that if they planned anything like that (strippers, clubs) then he wouldnt show up.  So, he told his friends where he wanted to go and what time to be there, and I dropped him off and picked him up.  So maybe your Fiance needs to tell them that, and lay down the law for what he does want.  I really dont’ understand how someone can say I’m throwing YOU a party, but doing what I want…

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