- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
Sorry about the long rant but I am so frustrated right now.
Well, I’m attempting to plan my friend’s bachelor party (I guess I’m stating the obvious) and have come across a few issues.
My friend had decided he wants a joint bachelor with his fiance. Was not a big fan of this idea to begin with because, well, his fiance can be a bit of a Debbie Downer (constantly in a mood when he’s out with us – his fiance’s friends – so they always leave early like right after dinner at my birthday or at someone’s house) and neither group of friends do anything together (myself and the others on my friend’s side of the wedding party have not seen any of these girls for about 2.5 years). He is also under the impression that they are both mutual friends with everyone when it is really a case of everyone in the wedding party thinks of my friend as the boyfriend of their friend and vice versa. I never said anything or gave any indication about how I feel/what I think about it to anyone, except my SO who thinks the same way. I am going along with it because it’s what my friend wants.
As the clubs here for the gay scene aren’t great the plan was to go to a city that’s around an hour and a half drive away (but really easy/cheap to get to by train or bus or even plane if you have the extra cash), so back in February I created a group on FB with all the bridesmaids included on both sides to get an idea of what weekend works the best for most people this summer and whether most people would be up for one or two nights and try to discuss anything else to do with the bachelor (I needed to add the other side to my friend’s list in order to do this). The only responses I received were from my friend’s side of the wedding party. I even sent messages to those girls without response. Then last month I put up a event and did the invites with details TBA so others were aware of the date (everyone’s summer always fills up fast) and people responded. Then I was trying to find out what everyone’s budget is so I could figure out what everyones budget was around. Again, only responses were from the girls on my friend’s side. It’s the middle of tourist season so accomodation will fill up soon enough and prices will be higher or get stuck in something not as nice or far from where a lot of things happen. Still no response. Except for one of them saying she cannot afford that and she doesn’t know if she will even be able to attend the wedding(!). And I know that they are on FB because they are always posting status updates and other stuff.
On a side note: these girls have been pretty unresponsive to anything my friend has been asking for input about the wedding or anything else (he is literally paying for practically everything for the wedding – renting a large cabin in upperstate NY so no one will need to pay for accomodation, renting out an entire restaurant, letting everyone wear their own lbd or skirt with a particular coloured top and paying for hats and pashminas for everyone) and there are car pools being organized so anyone unable to get down by car has a way (it’s, again, an hour and a half drive from where all of us live, so it would be really cheap on gas)
I know not everyone is on the same budget and I want everyone to be comfortable with what they spend (if they want to go) and can afford, so I just want them to speak up (it`s been three weeks since I sent the last message).
I’m really getting frustrated because I am trying to plan what my friend wants but cannot get any of these girls to communicate anything. I have become so frustrated that I asked one of my friends who is another bridesmaid to please organize a meeting with the entire wedding party face-to-face so we can maybe get some kind of a response. She has been trying to get their phone numbers from the other groom and hasn’t gotten any response at all from him. I’m just waiting until the meeting to figure it out, but in the meantime it feels exactly like pulling teeth in getting any kind of response (honestly, it’s just the accomodation right now, everything else can wait until closer to the time we are going).