(Closed) Frustrated with BM (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would be super upset too. She should have freed herself from whatever she was doing to be there. A call would have been the least she could have done. Next time don’t pick the place by her, let her drive !

Post # 4
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You’re not crazy.

I’m having problems with one of my BMs, too. She’s 4 months pregnant, and she’s telling me that she wants to be in the wedding (when I gave her an out to come as a guest instead due to the pregnancy, which was unplanned) but we looked at dresses 3 weeks ago and I’ve emailed her twice since then with links to maternity dresses and she hasn’t bought one and she hasn’t responded to my emails. I’ve decided I can’t make her do anything, so I’ve adopted a “run out the clock” situation. She knows the dress needs to be ordered by the end of this month. If she doesn’t have one, then I don’t know what to tell her.

Truly, I know how you’re feeling. You can only do so much. You can only try so hard. If she can’t be bothered, then that’s just how it is. It sucks that she didn’t call or text you earlier. I think that was pretty rude and really inconsiderate, especially when the date and time was moved around her schedule.

Aaaarggggh! It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Post # 5
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tell her that you and the other girls picked out the dress and then just give her the info! If she is too busy to come help with the choice then she shouldn’t get a say in the matter as you (and the other BM’s) went out of yout way to make it convenent for her!

Post # 6
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It sounds like she’s being really inconsiderate. She waited cowardly until a time to “tell you” she wasn’t going to make it when it would be certain she wouldn’t be held accountable (i.e. text message after 9pm WAY after the appointed time). I say just tell her you’re disappointed that she didn’t call you earlier. Did you end up picking bm dresses anyway? She forfeited her vote in the matter, that’s for sure. You could send her a link of the dress and say “This is what WE chose at the appointment.”

Post # 8
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow, that’s messed up. If she’s not interested in going in the 1st place she never should have made you believe she’d be there. I get it that BM’s don’t really care about the details and sometimes just want to order their dresses, but then don’t make everyone inconvenienced so you ‘can make it’ then don’t show up! That is really mean.

Yes, I agree you should just send her a link to the dress. I wouldn’t even respond to her text if I were you. She’s probably testing you now, to make sure you aren’t mad and I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction.

Post # 9
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

my good friend didnt show up to the dress outing i had planned for 3 weeks…and which i went to go around her schedule…however she did call me at 5am that same morning upset, came over and we talked. around 9am i left to go do something before we had to leave to go to the bridal store and she left…when i came home my fiance said..she said she isnt going and left…i texted her and called and she didnt pick up or respond…i am pissed but what can u do??

Post # 10
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You have every right to be upset!  I only took my Maid/Matron of Honor but she complained the whole way through… 🙁

idk why people can be so insensitive about weddings.  Ugh.

Post # 11
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@sn01uh  where have you found maternity? i have one Bridesmaid or Best Man who will be 8 months. i also attempted to give her an out but it is fiance’s sister an she is determined to be in the bridal party. am trying to be as supprtive as possible but it is ruining the look of the bridal party. am going for a vintage look and none of the maternity Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are vintage looking…i chose a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress which she agreed upon & even tried on…then she emailed me the next am saying it wasnt going to work. am a bit frustrated, i want her to be comfortable and the dress to fit correctly but it is also my wedding. if i was picking simple Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses i would understand but there are sevral layers and cute detailing that makes them special…

i have looked at Alfred Angelo, Bari J…and some others for her. The Bridesmaid or Best Man dress i chose is Alfred Angelo.

 

UGH!

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