Post # 1
Okay this is going to sound very stupid. My Maid/Matron of Honor and I have been friends for over ten years. We are practically sisters and sometimes get into fights like sisters. Lately I’ve just let things slide because I don’t want to fight. But ever since I’ve gotten engaged it feels as if she has no time for me.
Now to be fair, she herself is in a new relationship that is headed towards its own engagement, so she has been very involved in that. And I truly am happy for her.
But ever since I’ve gotten engaged I’ve had to compromise on several things for her. And now that my fiance and I have finally chosen a wedding date (a feat unto itself), she says that it doesn’t work for her.
And I’m just really tired of fighting and compromising.
I know I’m probably overreacting, but I needed to vent.
Post # 2
She’s too busy and hasn’t been a good friend? Or she’s too busy to help you with wedding stuff?
As for the wedding date, why doesn’t it work? We checked with all our VIPs before booking anything to make sure they could all attend. You have to decide what’s more important…the particular date or having your best friend there standing by your side.
Post # 3
I think we nd details. What on earth have you had to “compromise” on for her? And why doesn’t the wedding date work?
Post # 4
What have you had to compromise for her?
Post # 5
Why did you ask before having a date locked in?
Post # 6
Doesn’t work for her because she’s taking the bar exam that day or has already planned a European vacation or…was she thinking there was a yoga workshop that sounded really interesting…
Did you check with VIPs before setting a date? I know how hard it is to find a date that works for everyone–if you chose a date that you know didn’t work for her how can you really be mad at her?
Post # 7
Add me into the confused people who don’t understand why, if you werent going to consider her a VIP who you check with before setting a date, you would ask her to be you Maid/Matron of Honor before setting a date. It is just common courtesy to give people all the information they need to make an informed decision to choose whether to accept or not.
Otherwise, it is basically you saying “Hey, friend, will be my MOH? I have no information for you. We haven’t picked a date or a location. But you’re cool just holding every date open for me and making zero plans for like the next 18 months just in case, right? And until I make up my mind, you should also save your money in case we decide on a location that requires you to travel.”
I’m sorry this is frustrating for you, but you needed to have your act together before asking her to be Maid/Matron of Honor. She could have declined then if it conflicted. Or the alternative is you need to make sure she is one of the VIPs you are accommodating since she is in the wedding.