- 6 years ago
I really need to vent as I have been letting alot of things bother me lately. I am not sure if I am justified or not ,so please do tell me if I am being silly and caddy.
A little back story. My sister had a baby over a year ago, first Grandchild/neice. My neice was always a wonderful baby/sleeper. She was sleep trained by 4 months, she napped a lot and just in general was that calm, easy baby. You put her in her crib, she went right to sleep.
My parents, my husband and my sister and her husband and neice went on vacation when she was 4 months old and she was wonderful, she napped and slept through the night ( we all shared a condo)
Fast forward to now. Darling Husband and I have a 5 month old DS. He is amazing, but he is high needs, not in a bad way but he has a strong personality. He had colic for the first 3 months so it was REALLY tough, he is now a happy, fun, baby. However, he is NOT a good sleeper. His naps are short, he still cries. We finally got him to only waking up once a night, but he still cries going to bed. We have been trying to sleep train for a month. We have him a set bedtime schedule of going to bed at 6:30/6:45. He was going to bed at 7:30/8 but he would wake every 2 hours and we realized he was probably overtired because he doesn’t nap well durning the afternoon. When we moved the bedtime up. He slept much better.
In the past 2 months my family has been somewhat picking on me. Sundays we would all hang out at my mom and dads, eat dinner and all that, however, my neiece spends the night there so it’s easier for my sister and her husband because they do her whole bedtime routine at my parents. On top of that, when my DS is finally trying to nap, there is my neice screaming in the background, the whole family talking and laughing, which is FINE but he doesn’t nap because there is a lot going on. However, with my neice when she was a baby and even now. When it’s naptime for her everyone has to be aware of her napping and not make noise. No one respects my kid sleeping though. The end result was at first Darling Husband and I would leave early and not stay for dinner, but my MOm would get snippy with me, so now we just don’t go.
My neice had a 5:30 bedtime! WHen it was 5:30 that kid was in bed, no questions asked. Can you imagine being on vacation and working around a 5:30 bedtime?! It was hard, but we all did it and NOT 1 peson ever said a word to my sister about it, my Mom made sure she planned everything around my neices sleeping.
Now with my son and trying to sleep train him, my Mom is constantly giving me an attidude about it, when I get angry with her for putting down my parenting she gives me an attidude and hangs up the phone on me or ignores me. She has made comments that our vacation ( we are all going away again in July as a family) is going to be miserable if I don’t relax about his sleeping schedule. I don’t think I am overly crazy about his sleep schedule, but I make sure he gets a good morning nap, I run my errands in the afternoon and try to get at least 30 mins, and by 6:30 he is ready for bed!
Now onto another issue, my Darling Husband is turning 30. I had planned on having a party for him, but was having trouble with the date of the party. My MOM brings it up to me and offers to watch the baby if my Darling Husband and I want to go away for the weekend. I thought that was a great idea. I found a place to go for 2 nights, I ASKED her prior to booking, and also expressed that I would like him to stay at OUR house as we are still trying to get him adjusted and we fear a sudden change like staying elsewhere will revert the sleep training. She says its fine , no problem.
2 weeks ago, I get an email from my Mom saying here is the plan for when you go away. She goes on to say that her and my Dad are now going away for a night so my Sister is going to be watching him the 1st night, then she will drop him off at HER house the following night and they will watch him. I flip out, I am furious, as 1. How dare they make these other plans concerning my Son and not even consult me on it, they just email me saying this is the new plan. 2. I don’t want my Son swifted around from place to place. I would never have made the plans if I knew that was how it was going to be. I spoke with my Darling Husband and he was upset as well. I told my Mom and Sister I was upset. And of course my Mom gets mad at ME for being upset! My sister understands and says she will watch my Son for the 2 days then at my house. Okay fine. My Mom and I don’t talk for a few days because she is pissed at me and I am pissed at her for being pissed at me! Sounds petty I know.
So now today I get a call from my Sister, her daughter is sick and she doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have the kids around each other. I agree. SO now what. I call my Mom, she says that her and my Dad aren’t planning on staying overnight so they will be back around 5 on Friday and can come over. Okay fine, not ideal as we were suppoed to leave at 10am, but okay. Then I get an email from my Mom saying they don’t want to watch him at my house, they want him to be at their house because it’s easier on them.
So now I am back to being pissed. As it was, last night we got into it because I was explaining to her his schedule and she got all snotty and said wll I am not going to sit there all day and not do what I need to do. I said I understand that but he needs to nap, and she is like whatever I know this. And I siad okay I just want to make sure and by napping I mean in a crib, not a carseat or a stroller. My mom has a tendency to put him in his carset or stroller to try to get him to sleep because like I sai, he is hard to get to sleep. I was okay with that when he was a baby baby but at 5 months I want him sleeping in a crib. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.
I don’t know what to do. I know if I say something to my Mom about him not staying at her house, it’s going to start yet another fight, but I feel like I can’t go on like this with her because it’s really putting distance between us. My Mom and I are super close, I hate being upset or mad at her. She has done so much fo rme, but when she acts this way and pokes at me and makes comments that are negative it really bothers me and she knows it does. It makes me not go over there as often and want to be around my family.
Advice????? Sorry so long!