(Closed) Frustrated with FI

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’ve been on the other side of it. I just plain don’t care about most things. I booked everything based on price. Fiance, many times, has told me to slow down and let him look at the options. I just want it to be done. If he doesn’t want to plan it, don’t annoy him talking about details you care about and he doesn’t. Talk to some girlfriends. Call a family member. Most people don’t care about wedding planning except brides, tbh. 

If you want it to be “our” wedding, tell him in advance that you want to talk about wedding things for 10 mins after work. Layout what still needs to be done and ask him what he would like to do. Ask him to set himself a timeline for it. Then leave him alone until the timelime date. 

It also sounds like you’re bitter about the venues. Might want to work out that issue as well since it sounds like you’re holding it against him. 

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

Give him a task and let him see how much work goes into picking something based on day, cost, and preferences.  He will start to get a different idea of how much work is needed for an event like this.

Of course ask him to present you all the options with his choice so he doesnt just “book anything”

Post # 5
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My fiance is basically the same… he bought the ring and was like ‘okay, now have fun planning’. Which honestly, is fine with me! I love having free reign on (almost) everything since his opinions may differ from mine, its actually less stressful to need his opinion/approval.

His only requests have been that the reception be ‘nice’ and the guys wear black, not khaki. He helped out on the invitation design (I’m designing it) (and requested that they weren’t pink). And preferred the cheaper limo bus over the expensive stretch navigator.

He did irk me this morning when he thought my DIY photo props were wierd – but he’s not a photo kind of guy and I know guests will love them as much as I do. (And I’m sure he’ll be using them and seeing how fun they are by the end of the night!)

If your fiance is a ‘guys guy’ then he probably just doesn’t care about all the little details like we do! Nor do they realize how much goes into a wedding, time or financially. (My fiance can’t believe that it costs $9k to get married) Maybe you could set a time each week when you discuss everything wedding and he gives his opinion on the things you need it on? That way he’s not getting annoyed that he’s hearing it all the time and you can hopefully get things accomplished without him tuning you out.

The shirt/cleaning comments would irk me. My response would be,’ then clean it! ‘

Post # 6
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hate reading posts where someone (anyone but especially the groom) is taking all the fun out of the planning process.

Honestly, they just don’t care that much.  I get it.  They aren’t our girlfriends who ooh and aahh at weddings and ribbons and wtf we do.  But it would be nice to see some enthusiasm and romance during this time because it is a special time for the couple.

Can you tell him you’re taking a break on the wedding planning and that you will not discuss it for 3 weeks (or whatever) and after the hiatus you expect some attention, enthusiasm and an attitude adjustment at the end?!

BTW-I did laugh at the ungrateful asshole spot though.  Yay for Xanax.

Post # 7
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

If he is so specific about where he wants the ceremony and reception and expects you to have those places, then he should help with the other stuff! You are going ahead with what may not be your ideal venue to please him, so he should help with other stuff to please you. Explain to him that it hurts that he isn’t involved and ask him to help with planning, or consider another venue if he doesn’t step up!

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