(Closed) Frustrated with FI!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

What if the situation were reversed… and you wanted to surprise him with your dress but he insisted on going dress shopping with you.

If that would bother you, you might want to let him do his thing!

Post # 5
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not clear on what the downside here is…  there aren’t really that many tuxes available at a tux shop?

Plus he has to wear it, so it’s not like he’s likely to choose something that makes him look ridiculous.

Post # 6
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Unless your Fiance makes really bad fashion choices on a regular basis, I wouldn’t worry about this.  I can totally understand your frustration (I think I would have been a bit nervous had my husband made the same pronouncement), but I also think this might be something that he wants to have control over.  I couldn’t get my husband to have a strong opinion on most of the stuff in our wedding, so when he did have an opinion, I went with it.

Post # 8
Member
1313 posts
Bumble bee

So sorry to hear your frustration! It is definitely out of the norm for a guy to be that assertive about it, but its not the worst that could happen at least!

I wish my Fiance was a little more like yours… It’s like pulling teeth to get him to have an opinion about ANYTHING! Grr.. neither extreme is much fun ๐Ÿ™

Post # 9
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

Let him do his thing… after all he’s not picking what style of dress you should wear, so why expect him to conform to your opinion on what tux he should wear. As long as it makes him happy to be in it while he’s marrying you, what does it matter?

I know its hard to give up control on your wedding day, because its repeated over and over in that this day is one day where what the bride says goes, But shouldn’t the groom get a say too? After all, he’s getting married too right?

Maybe he’s just playing “wedding chicken” with you… be nonchalent and he’ll probably stop the behaviour thats frustrating you.

Post # 12
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

ha I would get even..

I would make the appointment for him at a certain tux place. Go in the week earlier and give the sales assistant/manager the colors for your wedding.

When he comes in, the lovely sales assitant will direct him in the right direction. the appropriate umms and ahhs. and oh noee… go in after him and get the lady to tell you which one he got. ๐Ÿ˜€ that way all the sizes will be recorded and you can always change the color.

๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 13
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No offense, but this seems so small in the grand scheme of your wedding. He obviously cares very much about his attire and the surprise element so I think you should let this go. You could try to positively reinforce the idea of you both choosing his tux by saying things like “oh, that would look really hot on you…etc” casually when browsing styles on the internet, but other then that, I think you should just look at the brightside of having a groom that cares very deeply about your celebration/union.

Post # 14
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

I’m pretty skeptical that his groomsmen would let him dress them in pink.  So pick a good shade of brown!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hi,

I also have a very stubborn fiance who’s been pretty involved with a lot of the wedding planning process–he’s had opinions and sometimes been difficult about cake, photographer, save-the-dates, registries, invitations, ceremony music, reception music, website, etc…I jokingly call him “Groomzilla.”

So I can understand your frustration…but I’ve learned that I need to take a positive view of my fiance’s “involvement,” and see it as sweet and a good thing that he cares so much…

Your fiance’s stubbornness is irking you, BUT it might help if you get the sense that he is doing it because he cares about surprising you and preserving (or reversing) kind of a sweet tradition (surprising you with his tux like you’re surprising him with your dress.)

I’ve had to let my Fiance be as involved as he is, because I can see that it is his way of showing love for me and that he cares that we have a wonderful experience on our wedding day. Trust me, we’ve argued about a lot of it, but it helps me to see his opinions and involvement in a positive light, EVEN if it drives me NUTS sometimes.

I’m also learning that sometimes I freak out about something because of something he says, and then when it comes time to actually do it (like register for example), it goes fine and I have nothing to worry about.

I hope this helps! I am sure everything will be fine and you’ll be happy with the man you see as you walk down the aisle…and if you’ve already decided to surprise him with your dress, I wouldn’t spoil that just to prove a point; you might really regret that.

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think its nice that he wants to surprise you, hubs wanted to dot he same thing but we had an issue so I had to know beforehand. I think its sweet, and that way you both can surprise each other.  Let him have his thing!!

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