- 5 years ago
Need a bit of advice on a situation. Friend A is getting married next spring in a different country. Both the bride and groom’s families live in that country and they have very large families. The wedding has a very strong cultural component to it and everything will be in a different language. It all seems like a very formal process, so when friend A has discussed the general wedding plans, we never assumed we were invited. It appeared it’s mainly a family affair and my husband and I enjoy hearing how things are different from weddings here. They have almost all of their wedding details planned and set. But recently my husband found out he will be on a work trip near where friend A’s wedding will be, and when the friend found out, friend A casually verbally told my husband that we should stop by and come to the wedding if we can. It would involve very little extra expense for us to get there, much cheaper than trying to get to the wedding from here, and would be an amazing experience.
Here’s the problem. Friend B is very good friends with my husband and got engaged late last year. My husband has a strong suspicion that friend B will ask him to be a groomsman. But friend B has been very slow to get wedding planning started, and very recently has stated that they want their wedding on a certain tropical island. Other than that, every time we ask friend B about wedding details, he seems very uncertain and nothing is booked. Friend B felt pretty sure their wedding will be next spring, and even gave a month estimate, but again nothing was booked. This past week friend B said they have narrowed down their wedding date to either the weekend before or the weekend of friend A’s wedding, then decided it will be the weekend of friend A’s wedding. They still don’t have a venue officially booked, let alone anything else. It is currently 7 months away from the date they picked, nothing is booked that we know of, no save the dates or invitations have been sent. It will involve even more expense for us to get to this island, especially if we have to book things at the last minute since they aren’t giving their potential guests much time to plan. We know for sure we will be invited to this wedding, we just aren’t sure if my husband will officially be asked to be a groomsman (he was one for us and husband and friend B are close).
We feel unsure how to tread at this point. Do we try to attend the wedding that we got a casual verbal invite to? Do we try to tentatively plan on attending friend B’s wedding, without anything firm yet?
I’m a bit frustrated because we booked a vacation for later this year and are busy paying it off ahead of time, but if friend B had planned things ahead of time a little better and sent save the dates already, we wouldn’t have booked that vacation and instead earmarked our money for attending his wedding. But they were so slow to get planning going that we went ahead and planned other things in our lives. What would you do?