(Closed) Frustrated with my Family

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

I think it would be rude to uninvite the people.

I feel that the family has made their decision.  And if they do come, pass on having them mourn her.

Post # 4
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

ouch. ouch. ouch. Well it sounds like your relatives are going to NEED a special and reserved table, b/c there is no more room for them at the venue. I think your dad, since he’s the close one to them, has to be the bearer of bad news.  I find it touching that they’re going to celebrate your aunt together, but it’s totally morbid to hijack your wedding to do so.

Post # 5
Member
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oooh this is a very tough situation.  Is there any way that your uncle (since he seems relatively sane) could talk some sense into these family members?  If your dad really wants them at the wedding, and they ARE family, you might be stuck having to accomodate them…but I would say absolutely NOT on the memorial table.  Tell them that you feel it would be more appropriate and a better way to honor your aunt by dedicating the next day to scattering her ashes.  Something like you feel she would not be fully appreciated if this was done at the wedding, because not everyone in attendance would have known her.  It’s a touchy situation, but I think you should at least stick to your guns about the memorial table. If it bothers them that bad to NOT have the table, maybe they won’t come to the wedding after all 🙂  Good luck!

Post # 6
Member
14067 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Wow, thats a tight spot to put you in.  How far are they traveling from?  Personally from what you’ve said, I think I would not let them come.  They already responded no, so it didn’t even mean enough to them to want to come to your wedding on their own accord in the first place.  Theres a time to pay their respects and honor her, but seriously, not at your wedding.  Who would you prefer there them or the ‘b’ list invites?  I know family is family and should come first, but they already dont sound that close anywyas.  They didn’t put you and your wedding first when they decided only to come when it was convient to go as a side trip to scattering your Aunts ashes.  If your dad really wants to see them, he will anyways the day after your wedding, wont he?

 

Post # 7
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Completely agree with Melissa. 

It’s a bit awkward since they were invited at first but I wouldn’t uninvite any B list people.  I understand your Gma is mourning so needs to be handled delicately so I’d try to work something out with your dad.

Post # 9
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

This is a pain but could you get your dad to organize something for his family the day before the wedding or day of as a little memorial to get his side of the family together (even though they’re also doing something after the weddnig too).  Someone needs to calm grandma down and it doesnt’ seem like she’s listening to you, enlist everyone you can who would be on your side to talk to her about it GENTLY.  She’s probably just super emotional and with family get togethers being rare sees this as her event but try to get others to help her get back on track. 

Post # 11
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

WOW that is completely inappropriate!! This is just me and maybe it’s because I have had a tough day at work lol but this is what I would do

A.) tell them I am very sorry but they already had declined to come to the wedding and to get over it! But you know a little nicer! and therefore had invited friends you really wanted to attend and it would be rude to uninvite them.

B.) If you are unable to sway your dad or uncle then I would say there is 100% NOT going to be a giant picture and memorial set up for your aunt. A wedding is so not the place to mourn someone. I would be livid! ESPECIALLY if it was over 4 months ago. I understand that they want to have that special moment for your Aunt but seriously they need to plan something the next day. And i would NOT move my sweetheart table for a bunch of people to sit and cry! I think you doing the vase is plenty.

Post # 12
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah, I’m not sure if it’s your uncle or your dad, but someone has to explain to them that they canNOT make your wedding part of the funeral.  Let them know that as family, they are welcome, and you feel their loss.  But the wedding is not the place for it.  Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like a plan to me!

Post # 15
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d also consider warning your DJ or band not to let any people wander up to the mike, since they think you shouldn’t be toasted at your own wedding, but your aunt that passed more than 6 months prior to your wedding date should.

The topic ‘Frustrated with my Family’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors