(Closed) Frustrated with waiting! UGH!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Welcome! I am sorry you are going through this.

I would sit down with him and have a chat about your future. Nothing high pressure. Not an ultimatum. But kind of a “let’s talk about where we are, and where we’d like to be.” In that conversation, finances can easily be brought up. And honestly, tell him what you told us! (Except for the “child” part, tee hee.) Explain to him that you want to be his wife and work with him toward your future.

At the same time, listen to his feelings. It may be very important for him to be able to “provide” for his wife. If this is something he values, try to find a way to respect that and come to an agreement that makes you both happy.

Good luck!

Post # 4
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Welcome newBee!!!!

I agree with the talk that Gemstone said.  One thing I’d be aware of is that maybe telling a friend of the “Summer/Fall” engagement deadline had made you more stressed – as soon as someone else knows and is expecting, there’s more pressure!

Talk to him seriously but casually (no ultimatum or expectations).  His finance hesitation could be one of 3 things:  1) it’s all about the perfect ring he can’t afford to buy you yet.  or 2) a personal reason, where he pictured himself much further along in his career, as the king-of-the-world when he gets engaged, and might feel behind (I’ve seen this…boys thinking they’d get the wife and the CEO job [exaggeration] at the same time, and when CEO job doesn’t come, well…)  or the 3rd reason you don’t want to hear.  

I know you’re sick of waiting, just find a way to get on the same page.  Don’t dwell on the money factor, because that might make him feel emasculated – just emphasize that you want to be with him during any financial situation – and that you’d like a timeline:-)




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