(Closed) frustrating FMIL (long, sorry)

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I don’t know, I feel like it’s her choice to contribute to the wedding at all, and she should be able to make the decision of where she wants her money to go. Of course it would be nice if she was more easy going and letting you do with it what you want, but it is her money, and if she doesn’t want to pay for flowers, she doesn’t have to.

Does she know about the already scheduled aufruf? That is silly to have two, maybe she can just invite whoever she wants to join you at your temple.

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think you and your Fiance need to sit down and have a serious talk with her.  Just point blank explain things to her, maybe being blunt and to the point will make her realize that she is wasting her money. You shouldn’t be forced to do anything you don’t want to do

Post # 6
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

we’re having problems with the aufruf too. i want one at our synagogue the week before (hometown wedding not where we live), where we know people and i can actually participate. she wants one in the suburbs of my hometown the day before the wedding, where we obviously won’t know anyone (my family’s not jewish) and i can’t participate because it’s orthodox. not to mention she’s telling her guests not to use my hotel block and stay in the suburbs instead of downtown. oh and she also thinks we’ll spend the entire shabbos with her and her friends instead of splitting time and taking care of some errands.

for now, i’m letting it go. if she wants to be stranded at a hotel in the suburbs, that’s fine. fi and i haven’t decided about the aufruf, but we did tell her we won’t be with her the entire shabbos.

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